the violence playing my song

[JAESEY JACQUILINE VALENTINE]

Nothing ever seemed as chilling as the weeping building that settled itself at the edge of town in the middle of the night. The way the moon shown through it cascading light into the shallow depths of the building created a trick of the mind that made it appear that there were spirits wandering about the building. Little flashes of white that crippled the spine swept across the window, and for a moment you could’ve sworn you saw another soul wandering about in the building. More recently there seemed to be fright towards the uninhabited building. With the summer storms and the flashing lightning more people chose to believe that they saw something magnificent and similar to the human structure. Little did these humans know that there might actually be something more than the simple trick of their minds. Behind the world they make up from fear there was some truth behind it all.

Small children often told stories of Massingale Mansion and the murders or suicides that occurred inside. More than anything this acted as a way to build up some excitement as the children ran through the house. What was more exciting than the fear they created? None of these stories were true of course. Not a person had actually died in the building, but there were most definitely dead people walking about inside of it. At that particular summer night there was a ghostly pale figure lurking in the large bay window on the top floor. Her hair was just as pale as her face and the cold expression on her face made the entire air seem chilling. A perfectly warm night ruined by the expression of a sad, yet beautiful, girl.

Sometime today in that town there had been sirens pulling in. Something had happened on the main street but since there weren’t very many people of the living wandering about at such a late time, the scene remained unattended except by the police and ambulance. This was why her face seemed to drop. For a moment she watched the scene from a protective distance. The moment the emergency vehicles pulled in she attached herself to them and followed them to a house that she had seen on more occasions. It was a nightmare really, something that she would never had expected to see, whether or not she had already died or even if she had still been alive. This red and white house contained two people inside, one an elderly woman and the other a now dead, elderly man. Her grandfather must have just passed away hours ago, maybe less.

Her hair fell in her face as she leaned over the contorted body. There were signs of trauma, but she was aware most of it must’ve been silent. Her ears wandered around and she heard her grandmother giving a statement about having heard what she thought was snoring, and then finding out that it was her husband falling into some sort of an attack. Jaesey couldn’t believe a word. Once upon a time she thought this man was infinite. After all, he was at the prime of his life. Never had he had a bad condition. His family was known to live long lives until some sort of disease took over them, but then again he was only the fourth out of ten children that had passed over.

If only Jaesey had known sooner.

She wished she could have come, to witness a moment of death. There was only one time she had seen it in her life, and that was when she was unaware of exactly how strange death could be. Now that she had died herself she understood so much less than she had before. She wanted to see if there was another place where spirits disappeared to if they didn’t come into the afterlife. But she hadn’t caught the situation in time to see any such spirit enter any new realm.

In a huff and worry, she found herself wandering to Massingale, out of habit. When she was younger it seemed to be one place where she could find herself, a content place in the world where the rest of Empress’s bull shit didn’t have to touch her. Sitting in that window brought a nostalgic feeling that made Jaesey question whether she wanted to puke or day dream. At that moment she didn’t want any such feelings, just nothingness. More than anything she wanted to be completely numb. How was here mother doing in this situation?

She shook her head.

Once again, her hair collapsed over the frame of her face. It embraced her shoulders and her knees as she tucked them in. She was that pasty figure in the window that the small children would look at and question, and yet she was still a nothing, just a ghost, and a joke to death. If only there was a person in the world she could reach out to at that moment, because being alone had never been a strong suit for her.

LYRICS: i have to go return some video tapes by breathe carolina
COUNT: 841
TAGGED: open
NOTES: in a really weird mood right now.

[KRISTOPHER ZANE ESTRELLA]

how does it feel when tears freeze?

when you cry?

Massingale Mansion; the place where no one wanted to go to. It was supposedly ‘haunted,’ people committing suicide and murders inside that house. People dying, their souls staying behind and haunting those who come into the house. Kristopher never really heard of the stories about Massingale Mansion, after all he had spent most of his years in the boarding school that his parents had sent him to. When he came back he always saw little children daring each other to go into Massingale Mansion, and Kristopher couldn’t help but laugh at all the old ghost tales. Seriously? Old spirits that came after you with an old butcher’s knife? Young, obsessive, psychotic murderers, who came after people like they were Jack the Ripper or something? The human mind was very creative, exaggerating the simplest things that the mind processed. It was funny, since Kristopher wasn’t really one to be afraid. He found any and every situation to be fun and exciting. Lots of children thought that too, they found everything to do with Massingale Mansion to be exciting and exhilarating. Everything to do with Massingale Mansion was just so fun, the stories brought chills. Kristopher didn’t believe in any of the stories, it wasn’t as if he had been in Empress long enough to get the chills of the stories, or to believe in any of the stories. By the time he was back in Empress he was a ghost, nothing more but a memory all stories passed about him, and he didn’t really care. Massingale Mansion to him wasn’t that scary, if you looked at the building now it just looked like some ordinary building that turned old because it had been there for a long period of time.

He had been in the pub, as usual when he heard sirens pulling into Empress. There weren’t that many ambulances or police cars that went by in Empress, nothing much happened there. But tonight there were like a dozen that went by, and that got Kristopher wondering as to what happened. Did someone get murdered? There were police cars weren’t there? Normally the police never really got involved unless there were murders going on. Or it could have just been another death, but why were the police involved? Sometimes Kris never really liked the police, when you needed them they weren’t there and when you didn’t need them they would come up to you and ask billions of questions. Policemen were just all too very annoying, some didn’t really even know how to do their jobs properly. When he had died he waited a few hours, the police didn’t even know he had overdosed. They had taken in his room mate to jail, his father calling all the shots. It didn’t even seem that his father cared about him, so why did he care now when his son had died? His father didn’t give a fuck about him; it was just all for publicity. His father had made sure Lucas spent a night in jail, and then after two nights, they found Kristopher’s letter. How stupid were the police? Kristopher had left his note on his bed, somewhere easy to find, and his father hadn’t allowed an autopsy, but the police insisted because they had no idea what to do with Lucas. After an autopsy was finally allowed on Kristopher’s body, they found countless amounts of drugs in his body and many volumes of alcohol in his body. He was glad when they had finally allowed Lucas out of jail.

Kristopher made his way towards Massingale Mansion, it was a dark and it seemed to be a stormy night too. Kris chuckled to himself; he was trying to make it all seem like a story. A frightening ghost story, that was. Kristopher opened the door slowly to the mansion; it was always open with people going in and out. It racketed a little as he struggled to open the door, to him, in the dark it seemed big and wooden, nothing more. It seemed quite expensive too, really what was the story behind Massingale Mansion apart from the ghost stories? Who lived there? Kristopher shook his head as he made his way up the stairs.

What made him want to go to Massingale Mansion tonight? He really had no idea; he stopped at the top of the stairs as he saw a girl there. He watched her for a little while, wondering as to why she was there. She was definitely a ghost since she was very pale just like him. She seemed to be another one of those quiet, reserved types, but maybe she just needed someone to talk to? Kristopher sighed and sat down next to her. His legs stuck out in front of him, and his hands behind him, so that he was comfortable in his position. “What’s wrong sweetheart?" Kristopher cocked his head towards her, but kept his eyes straight forward, wondering if she was going to reply to him.

TAGGED// JAESEY
WORDS// 833
LYRICS// ESCAPE THE FATE – NOT GOOD ENOUGH
NOTES// (:
CREDIT// ME

[JAESEY JACQUILINE VALENTINE]

Between the time of death and the time alive, not a whole lot had changed in Empress. Of course since the birth of Empress a lot had changed. It seemed that Empress had once been a beautiful, lively place and as it got older it started to deteriorate just like a human being. The old buildings were redecorated, relived in and fixed up for the sake of history. It seemed that Massingale Mansion was one building that had been left behind this all, left to slowly die until one day all its roughage will collapse and one day it will no longer be a building in the town, just another pile of rubble. As a child Jaesey often fantasized about what she would do with the building. She hadn’t lived in Empress her entire life and when she moved here and was informed of all the politics around the building she was disgusted by it all and just wished the owners would sell it so that she could buy the building and rebuild it to look exactly like it once did. There may have not been very many images of the building in full, but from what was left behind in it all, it was easy to see it all, including a stone porch that wrapped around the entire exterior and that there once had been a deck on the upper most floor, where a blank space the length of a door stood. Everything would be perfect. She would have a gallery on the main floor and live comfortably in the basement and the top floor. It sounded like the perfect life to her, but fate had never allowed her to get so far.

When Jaesey walked down the house she had once known, she was surprised that there was no one in Empress wandering the streets. Only a few cars were pulled into the old bar, but not a crazy amount. Once the sirens had actually hit the end point of Empress, they had cut off and the only absurd image was the flashing lights. Jaesey could see it all flashing in her mind continuously. For a long while all she would be able to see is blue and red, revolving constantly. She could see her mother’s face inside the door, it had a lot of different emotions spread across it, she was sad, and yet there was something else in her mind. The relationship between herself and Jaesey’s grandfather had always been complicated, but she knew a lot of that was because of the relationship that her mother and her grandfather never really had. No one told Jaesey all the reasons for this, but she had built up her own list of reasons why she never could trust her grandfather. It wasn’t until near her own death that she could see that he wanted a real relationship with her. Then she died, and now it was his turn. Always he would have to live with herself in the afterlife knowing that she had once said she hated her grandfather and probably wouldn’t care too much the day that he died, but of course the day that happened she realized how much she really cared.

Watching the turns in her mother’s face made Jaesey want to scream. She wanted to hold onto her mother and tell her she was sorry for being a negative influence when it came to their grandparents. But even more than that, she started to question the sanity of her grandmother. The two grandparents had always been together and now out of the spontaneousness of his death she would have nothing but the empty space next to her.

All these images kept pushing into her mind, destroying any previous thoughts that could’ve been happy. She may have not been able to see anything, the body like she had heard her mother explaining to the police, but Jaesey still saw the images inside her head. The face of her grandparents were so fresh and then everytime she tried to picture him again all there was, was a dropping body, partly naked and disgraced by whatever had struck him. It was the worst thing she had ever experienced. Even when she watched her father die, he seemed peaceful in the hospital bed, whether or not there was a tube shoved down his throat, but for some reason her conscious made her grandfathers death seem more ugly, like some sort of Japanese horror anime.

Or maybe she only thought of it this way because there was no other way to think of her Grandfather dead, he always seemed like the type that would out live the apocalypse.

Secretly she heard the stairs crack a little. It wasn’t the pressure of a normal human, but a spiritual pressure which she had grown accustomed to in death. A lot of ghosts still thought that loud noises were only made by humans, but there were still creaks from the ghost’s odd spirits. She wanted to ignore it. She always told herself that she would rather be along in these moments but she had always liked to be surrounded by a group of people that would cheer her up, or hold her. Physical touch had always been special to her when it meant something more instead of being completely pointless.

The moment he spoke at her she could feel her eyelids crushing down on her, trying to hold back any tears that she had inside of her. But only after a short moment her body pounced on this unknown figure. She hadn’t even seen his face, but she knew it was a man and for some reason that made her feel more comfortable. The comfort of a female had never been the same as the warm arms of a man. She warped herself around him and made her body almost cradled against his. Her head gently touched down on his shoulder by his neck and she cuddled herself in there. Softly she cried, making only slight movements. Her body looked even more fragile than ever, laced in this man. She had a few moments with this boy and then finally lifted her head to see his face. “I’m so sorry you probably think I am some sort of psycho.”

LYRICS: i have to go return some video tapes by breathe carolina
COUNT: 1,047
TAGGED: kris [:
NOTES: finally we can get this plot started.

[KRISTOPHER ZANE ESTRELLA]

how does it feel when tears freeze?

when you cry?

Was it bad for Kristopher to want his father to die? Obviously Kristopher didn’t want his father to be murdered, but in a sickening way he actually did. His father was someone he loathed, as well as his mother, but for some reason Kristopher didn’t want his mother to die. Kristopher’s father was a pop star, or rock star, or whatever he was; he was just famous. Someone everyone knew, but Kristopher never associated himself with his father, his father’s fame or his money either. When people saw Kristopher they didn’t really associate him with his father, Kristopher never spoke about it and if people did put together the clues Kristopher would tell them that he was the son of the famous star, but that he didn’t want to really speak about him. People thought it was because Kristopher missed the luxurious life that he left behind; they thought he was upset that he couldn’t be with his famous father and family any more. But in reality that was definitely too far form the truth. Kristopher didn’t want to speak about his family because he hated them and he became angry; Kristopher didn’t like it when he became angry. He was glad that not many people associated him with his father that meant he could get on in this life without having to hear about his father. But there were a lot of fans of his father who were dead and in this world, he heard them many a times singing his songs and it was truly annoying; didn’t anyone listen to good music these days instead of the crap his father produced?

Kristopher’s father made sure that his funeral was the best, he didn’t even give a thought to his eighteen year old body in the coffin, and he just wanted the funeral to be filled with all the A-list celebrities of this time. It was annoying to see all those celebrities pretending to mourn for him when they didn’t even really know him at all. The worst thing was that Lucas, or any of his friends from the boarding school weren’t allowed to attend his funeral, and that made Kristopher hate his father even more. His coffin was gold plated, Kristopher really actually just wanted one of those normal coffins, but one that he could be comfortable in, but no. His father had to go all out for his funeral. It didn’t even seem like a funeral, there were balloons, a cake and lots of music. It seemed like a fucking birthday party instead! His father pretended to be upset, but Kristopher could tell that he was in his acting phase, he was pretending. He was more of an actor than a musician, was his father; nothing more. Kristopher’s mom on the other hand seemed genuinely upset, but Kristopher had no idea. He could never make his mother out; it was different for him to understand this woman. She would always do what his father told her to do; it was as if she didn’t have a brain of her own to do anything with. His father literally controlled his mother and it angered him.

Kristopher was content with this life. No parents, no rules or regulations, apart from fraternising with the living people, but Kristopher really didn’t care about the living anymore. They weren’t anything to him; they were just living while he was not. He heard creaks as he moved up the stairs, the little things like this made him smile because he knew he was alive; maybe not in the way people thought, but he was alive in some way wasn’t he? The living people didn’t see him, but the ghosts here did, this life was just like…just like a kid’s paradise. Where no one could see you or stop you from doing anything that you wanted to do. That was why Kristopher loved this place but people didn’t really see it from his point of view did they? He was just some crazy wacko who was still a teenager and had no experience in life yet.

Kristopher kept his eye on the girl as her own eyes closed and Kristopher had a feeling she was going to cry. He had no idea what to do in a situation like this though, he really hadn’t been in the company of a woman for so long, unless of course they wanted to have sex with him, but even then they didn’t cry on him. He was about to question her again but suddenly she pounced on him, he was about to make some sexual remark about this, but then he realised the girls’ body was heaving. Was she having some kind of spaz attack or something? He wrapped his arms slowly around the girls’ body as she did the same to him. Her head was on his shoulder and he could hear little sobs coming from her mouth; she was definitely crying right now. Kristopher slowly stroked her blonde head, making ‘shushing’ noises every few seconds. After a few minutes the girl picked up her head to look at him and Kristopher looked down at her. “Nah I don’t think that hun. What kind of insensitive person do you think I am? Everyone’s got to let it out sometime don’t they? You just let it all out now…” Kristopher spoke with an accent in his voice, hoping that the girl might laugh a little; it was something the nanny who his father hired for him would always tell him. He just remembered it then for no reason.


TAGGED// JAESEY
WORDS// 931
LYRICS// ESCAPE THE FATE – NOT GOOD ENOUGH
NOTES// YAY PLOT STARTING!!
CREDIT// ME

[JAESEY JACQUILINE VALENTINE]

Death had always been something terrible for Jaesey. Her entire life it seemed to haunt her. In her sleep, in her reality it was everywhere. When she was younger she used to have night terrors that would creep upon her almost every second day, and she would wake up screaming. Much of the time she chose not to sleep and snuck out of her room pretending that she was sleep walking, but of course her mother and father could tell that she was faking it because sleep walkers didn’t pretend to walk like zombies. Jaesey hated waking up late because she didn’t want her horrible dreams to attack her again, so she would always set her own alarm clock for a ridiculously early time and prepare for the day during a long period of time. Even before she hit puberty and such she would like to spend her mornings getting ready and looking decent, or else just watching good old Scooby cartoons. These actions were the only things that occupied her mind to take it all away from the death she witnessed in her dreams and the deaths that fell on her when she was still awake. She could remember every single moment of it and a lot of the time she would try to imagine her own form of death. How would she die? She never imagined that one day she would actually be dead. Then again she never actually imagined that when she was dead she would still be able to think about her living life. She thought that she would either be in Hell with the Devil, Heaven with her God, or else she would be born into a completely new person.

Before she died, she feared everything beyond that. She saw all the effects of everything, every expression a person faced once they were informed that their loved one had just passed over. She remembered every second being in the hospital, or being out side of the hospital waiting to see if her father would make it. She remembered every person that had died in her life before and after her father, she remembered all the stories, she remembered everything and it all crept inside of her and melted away her brain. She was very into art whether it was visual arts or if it was the art of dressing yourself in the morning. Most of the time she liked to wear black to represent all the death she had in her life, and a lot of the time she made her photography or paintings seem almost morbid or at least haunting with all the dark colors. A lot of people wanted her to see counseling for it all, but somehow Jaesey dodged over that and acted like a completely happy and giddy child.

But she couldn’t always be the happy, giddy child that the world expected her to be.

Why had she even run into the arms of the stranger? For some reason she had always been drawn to stuff like that. She loved talking to strangers, she loved being held by someone that was a little mysterious and someone she hadn’t completely figured out yet. She liked everything that had to do with a mystery. A lot of the times in the past she had went out with boys that she felt like she didn’t know enough about. There was something attracting about them on the outside as well as something that drew her into their insides, their soul that hadn’t quite been figured out yet. She wanted to be able to figure things out for her own and that was part of the fun of getting to know someone and be in a relationship. Obviously, no one that she had dated turned out to be the guy she actually wanted, but it was just something that she had gotten used to. She was so used to being leaving her and not being able to deal with the mysteriousness that she evaded. She had always been a little unfair like that. She crawled into the mind of another person and would never let them inside her own mind. But she always feared that once they saw her inner thoughts they would’ve wanted to turn and run away in the end anyways. But at least this person was still a complete and utter stranger, maybe she would have more of a chance talking to him instead of scaring him like she did to all the other people in her life.

She knew her face must’ve looked so delicate. That was one thing that she always noticed whether or not she was sad or happy, there was something delicate about her that made you scared that you would break her. Her life seemed just as fragile as porcelain… one little slip of the fingers, then everything would shatter. And yet, right at that moment Jaesey felt something keeping her warm on both the insides and the outside. This boy was completely comfortable and completely fitting to her. She started to smile slightly as he hushed at her. Normally she would just say something like ‘don’t tell me what to do’ but she knew it wasn’t anything like that. She couldn’t expect this stranger to not try to do that, after all he was comforting her… who was also a stranger to him. Jaesey just needed to calm herself down a little, her hot headedness would get to her if she didn’t and right now was probably not the time.

This guy was actually kind of funny. Jaesey examined his face and there was something cute, and distinctive about it. His voice was something that she really needed right now. It was refreshing to hear a voice that wasn’t focused on the death that occurred in the town below. With her quirkiness, she smiled and found herself making a joke, “Well at least this time we got to the crying portion first and don’t have to deal with it during our time in between.” It was almost amusing how much she liked to joke in the wrong sorts of situations. She had gone from being devastated to joking about being in a relationship with this stranger. That was when it actually hit her that the two of them were actually strangers, they actually didn’t know each other at all. She was still cradled into his body, but she lifted her one hand and hit herself on the forehead. “I suppose I should ask for your name first before we carry on any further.” She started to smile again, her eyes looking at him with a weird glimmer that rarely reflected off of Jaesey’s eyes.

LYRICS: i have to go return some video tapes by breathe carolina
COUNT: 1,117
TAGGED: kris
NOTES: lade da! The new avenged seven fold cd = <3

[KRISTOPHER ZANE ESTRELLA]

how does it feel when tears freeze?

when you cry?

Kristopher never thought about death when he was a little youngster; what child ever really did think about death? Yeah he had seen his grandfather die and then his grandmother too, but he was always told that they were going somewhere better, somewhere where they would be at peace; so you could see that Kristopher never really found death to be a scary experience. The horrific and disturbing truths about life where always hidden away from Kristopher’s life, he was too famous that he was always supposed to live happily and in luxury, that was that. No one really told him that the bodies of his grandparents would rot away soon, being eaten by worms and other scurry little animals, he figured that out in school just like many others. Death, to him, was just something that was natural. It happened to every person whether they wanted to die or even if they didn’t want to. It would creep up after you and get you whenever and wherever. It was just something that was natural. You could die by a heart attack, you could be a baby and die by a hole in the heart; you could die at what ever moment in life and it would all just be natural. That was just the way life was; all life was. Plants, animals, humans; they all gave birth, they all went through a passage of life and then the outcome of it all was death. Death ended everything, but with an end there was always a new beginning and that made Kristopher happy. When Kristopher overdosed, the first thing on his mind wasn’t whether he was going to Heaven or Hell, but it was how things would be on the other side. No one could ever come back from the dead could they and tell him what he was going to expect?

Kristopher allowed the girl to examine his face, it was what all girls did or some reason. Probably to see if he was a nice guy or not, after all, there weren’t that many good souls out here in this life. All of them turned bitter and resentful and it was just so cliché to him. He gave a wide smile as the girl that was hugging him smiled, whoa someone could get over things pretty quickly. Kristopher was proud of that, because he didn’t really think that he could handle a crying girl at all. He gave a short chuckle as she spoke; the girl was just like him, making the worst situations as amusing as possible and he liked that. “Aaaw yes, I think we should both just cry now and let it all out, otherwise sudden bursts will frighten me.” Kristopher looked at the girl, batting his eye lashes and pouting his lips at her, he was speaking in what people called a baby voice. Kristopher always brought voices out when someone was upset, he didn’t think the girl would be fully over her crying, but she seemed alright so he had no idea what to think. He looked confusedly at the girl as she hit herself on the head and laughed out loud when she wanted his name, “So you hit yourself because you didn’t know my name?” Kristopher burst out laughing. “Well, if you really wanna know, it’s Kris. But you can call me Krissy baby, Kristopher, Kris loco, baby Kris, sexy Kris and many other more things, or any other nick names you can come up with hun.” Kris took her hand in his and bent forward to give it a little kiss.

The girl in his arms seemed so fragile and delicate, he hadn’t really seen that in a girl in quite a while; apart from Magdalena that was, but she was sweet and sensitive as it was. Was this girl like that? “Well Miss, now that you know my name, I think it’s only fair that I know yours.” He slowly released her hand from his grip and smiled at the girl, he would make her feel better. Kristopher wasn’t the type of guy who liked seeing girls cry, or liked seeing them upset. He didn’t like it when anyone was upset at all, he wanted them to be happy, fun and lively just like he was and his personality was a bit contagious, hopefully it would rub off on this girl too. He hadn’t comforted a girl in years; the last girl he comforted was probably his girlfriend in his previous life when he told her he was being sent to an all boy’s boarding school. But when he came to this life, it seemed as if many people needed a lot of comforting, and Kris understood that. It was because they were dead, unhappy, and they wanted to get away from this life and back to their original ones, but that was not possible so Kristopher always tried to show them the best of this life, it was the only way to make them all happy.

He stroked the girls’ head a little more, softly, trying to be as gentle as possible. “Now, if I may ask, you don’t have to answer this at all. But what’s a beautiful girl like you crying alone, in Massingale Mansion, which is supposedly a haunted area? Do you want to get scared to death woman? You know there are ghosts around here don’t you?” Kristopher raised his eyebrows, willing himself not to burst out laughing. The more he could get this girl to speak, the more it would be easier to open her up, and the more she’d be willing and friendly. He wasn’t going to hurt her, Kristopher wasn’t that type of guy and he waned to show her that, even if she did know it, he just wanted to show her that he was an all around nice guy. That was an obsession with Kris; he had to make sure that people knew he always meant well, some people always said that he went after girls because he wanted to get into their pants. Now that was true, but they always did agree in the end to have sex with him after he pulled a little charm on them. But he wasn’t going to do that now, no matter how cute this girl was he was going to stay away from her. Maybe…If he could manage it. But would he be able to?


TAGGED// JAESEY
WORDS// 1074
LYRICS// ESCAPE THE FATE – NOT GOOD ENOUGH
NOTES// I IS TIRED. DID YOU KNOW KRIS IS SPANISH? (:
CREDIT// ME

[JAESEY JACQUILINE VALENTINE]

Maybe it was because she was a girl. Maybe it was because she raised herself to be over sensitive about everything, but for some reason it seemed that everything that happened to Jaesey impacted her harshly. When someone told her to not do something, she would shy away as if she just got scolded to death. Her mind was so enriched with the idea that if she did something wrong once that she would do it again and so she rarely spoke out loud unless she felt that there was a necessary moment. Her mind had a tendency to make even the most horrific situations into something of a dramatic television series, or even a joke. Her mind thought over everything too thoroughly that when she acted like herself she wasn’t actually acting like herself. She wanted to be more spontaneous, fun and sexy but somehow she came across as an awkward, boring, shy girl. Her own fears controlled every bit of her body. It wasn’t until her body completely relaxed that she would act accordingly to what she really wanted, but she was always so tense that things never went the way she wanted them to. It was a surprise that she didn’t repeat in her head over and over again to not go near anyone once this boy walked upstairs. Physical contact with another person was usually something she had to think over several times. Instead of analyzing it all she just collapsed. Maybe that was a sign of a good start for her, at least for this boy.

Never had Jaesey felt this comfortable. That was completely odd because strangers made her uncomfortable when she first met them, that was until they engaged into something that was enjoyable for the two of them. She couldn’t help but think to herself that even though it could be seen as slightly awkward, it was a good start for her. Maybe if she was able to completely release herself like that there would be one person in the world that she didn’t have to pretend around. For a moment she didn’t respond to what he said about crying, she just smiled sweetly at him and found herself actually looking directly into his eyes, which was something she didn’t typically feel comfortable doing. So far so good. She laughed a little at herself for her own actions, sometimes she could be a little goofy. But listening to this long list of nicknames made her eyes slowly open with curiousity. “Oh my, there are so many names you have! I’m starting to question whether or not you came up with them yourself or if you had some help coming up with those.” She winked at him a little and moved slightly in her spot once he pulled on her hand and kissed it. It was completely unexpected and she watched, still curious by the entire situation. This was just something that she never found herself in.

Names. Once again, Jaesey had forgotten about herself. She had a tendency to do that and it got her in trouble sometimes. It was so rare that she would explain herself, or even give out a name. She laughed a little at herself for not even saying it before. Once again she was starting to feel a little goofy. She just needed to get back to her comfortable state so that the world could settle around her and she wouldn’t seem so off. “Oh, yes, my name is Jaesey Valentine, but you can call me Jace, or Jaesey, some people call me by my middle name though, because to me it seems so much more attractive, you could also call me Ms. Valentine, but that makes me sound like some sort of stripper secretary,” She smiled slightly slowly peeling her body away from this boy. She was still slightly on him, but she wasn’t as attached to him as she was a moment before. She smiled a little, “I guess my list of names isn’t quite as impressive as your novel.” She guessed that there were several reasons for the different names that this… Kris had listed off. It sounded almost like he was the type to run around a bar and a lot of people would just use some sort of adjective with his name as a way to express who he was. Jaesey remembered the days of her wandering through a bar and just feeling completely comfortable with all the people around her as she danced, or played poll or whatever else came to her. Then lots of people placed adjectives next to her name, but she never really took many of them to heart. People complimenting her wasn’t one of her favorite things.

Here it was, more compliments. Jaesey blushes slightly, which was highly visible against her porcelain white skin. She had to admit this boy was actually quite funny. Something about him was very light hearted and endearing. She liked that especially since only moments before she had a complete breakdown. Before she answered she felt herself smiling like an idiot, which lead her to be slightly self conscious before she answered. Mostly this was because her answer was nothing happy compared to how he worded his questions. In fact, her words would be quite depressing if she completely explained herself. “Well, I have to warn you first off, I am the ghost that haunts this building, so BOO!” She smiled slightly, hoping her words would seem far more light before she started explaining her situation in painful detail. Then again, she didn’t have to give away every little detail of the event, she could just speak in little pieces like she normally did. But there was something telling her that she needed to speak her mind completely, mostly because she had already fallen apart in Kris’s arms so why couldn’t she tell him the reason why she had been balling her eyes out? “Once again, I have to warn you, I am up here for no reason that is pleasant really, if anything it is quite grim and sad, and I do not wish to share my sadness with anyone else that needs the burden. But, I am assuming that if you found your way to Massingale, you should be aware that there were ambulances coming into Empress only moments before had?” She spoke almost more like a question than anything else. She wanted to continue a little more to explain something before he started asking too many questions. “Don’t worry, I’m not a fresh soul, I am not the reason for the emergency vehicles, I’ve been here for a while, but the person that they picked up was someone that I know, and he most definitely was not alive when they took him.” She looked down at the broken glass on the floor. She didn’t really want to look into his eyes and see what expression he would have. Her body seemed to move around like a glich, not really sure how to react to everything. She took in a sigh before she brought herself to look at Kris, but even then, her eyes focused on his shirt and nothing else.

LYRICS: i have to go return some video tapes by breathe carolina
COUNT: 1,201
TAGGED: kris
NOTES: no I did not know that! Jaesey is just me >>” haha.

[KRISTOPHER ZANE ESTRELLA]

how does it feel when tears freeze?

when you cry?

He felt at ease with this girl, just like he did with almost every girl or boy he met. He never was the type to shy away from anyone, whenever he wanted a new friend he would go up to that person and straight away ask ‘hey do you wanna be my new friend?’ But if they seemed like the shy type he’d just use his charm on them and get them close to him; that was just exactly how Kristopher was. He was always nice to people, he knew that many ghost in this place weren’t nice at all, it seemed Kristopher was the only one; well the only boy that was nice actually since most of the females here were sweet. He looked at the girl as she stared at him straight in the eyes, smiling directly at him. Kristopher immediately smiled back, there always seemed to be a smile on his face, no matter what situation he was in. He laughed as her eyes began to glint with curiousity as he listed the names that people gave him. Trust me, there’s more but Kristopher never bothered to remember all these names, he wasn’t being mean but there were just too many that he couldn’t remember at all. “Oh darling, I’ve had loads of help. I’m not that sad to come up with many different names for myself.” Kristopher winked back at the girl. He chuckled to himself quietly as the girl still stared in confusion at him as he kissed her hand, guess she didn’t get that a lot?

He liked the fact that this girl was turning goofy, once again his charming, brilliant nature was bringing out the happy side out. Yes, Kristopher did think a lot about himself that was what made him confident, if someone turned him down he didn’t get upset he just told himself that he was a charmer and a good looker and that there would be many more girls and boys after him later. He wasn’t one to feel self conscious at all. Kris looked at the girl as she spoke, and then laughed. Jaesey Valentine? That name sounded quite cool actually. He wondered how many people made jokes because of her last name, he could think of some but he didn’t want to blurt them out really, they weren’t even that good. He laughed at her last sentence. “Well, if you don’t mind I think that I’m going to call you Ms. Valentine. I love the sound of a stripper secretary.” Kris winked at the girl and then laughed again. He didn’t mind at all if this girl wanted to strip for him, it would do him some good. “Well I think it’s impressive, it doesn’t need to be long, just needs to have meaning.” Kristopher bobbed his head a bit; he had some sill old song in his head. It was probably from just a few years ago. All his names had meaning. ‘Kris loco’ was given to him by some guy because Kristopher was just…plain crazy, he acted immature and silly and well he was just loco. ‘Baby Kris,’ was given t him by some girl as well as a guy. A guy thought that Kris acted too immature and called him a baby. The girl called him ‘baby’ because he was good at sex with her, and because he was eighteen which was young, and just like a baby. He loved receiving nick names especially all the funny ones.

Kristopher loved complimenting a girl, because truly, whatever he said he actually did mean. He wasn’t really one to lie and right now he wasn’t lying at all, she was actually really, very beautiful. He loved the whole tattoo rose thing going down on her neck; it made her look even sexier. Yes, it was wrong of Kristopher to think of sex at this moment when this girl practically cried on top of him, but that was how he was, it wasn’t as if he was going to do anything to her though; Kristopher ahd excellent self control. He smiled along with Jaesey as she smiled before answering him. He rolled his eyes and pretended to scream in terror like a little girl as Jaesey pretended to scare him. He then laughed, he liked this fun going Jaesey more than the crying one, well which guy wouldn’t? “Ms Valentine that is not what strippers do! You’re supposed to caress me softly, not scare me!” Kristopher laughed out loud, and looked out of the window. His arms fell from around Jaesey’s shoulders now, she was already half off of him, and so he didn’t think that she needed his arms around her anymore. Even if she wasn’t complaining, Kristopher was going to be his usual, charming self.

Kristopher nodded as Jaesey began to talk seriously. Whoa, it must be something utterly bad then if she was talking seriously. Kristopher narrowed his eyes at her as she spoke, and nodded when she questioned him. Did Jaesey just die today? No wonder she was upset, he was about to wrap his arms around her again, to tell her that everything was going to be alright and that not everything in this place was bad. That this place was just like normal life and she could carry on with herself. But then she spoke again and Kristopher looked at her in confusion until she carried on tot speak, finishing her sentences. “Ooohhh, no wonder.” Kristopher wrapped his arms around Jaesey, but then thought against it, he stared at Jaesey when she stared at him, but then he moved. He put his head on Jaesey’s lap, turned his face upwards so he could see her face clearly and straightened his legs out. He smiled at her softly and said, “Jaesey, you do know that every life does have to come to an end right? And I’m not really going to give you words of condolences and all that shit, because I don’t know where this person might end up. She or he could come here or be gone straight to the Lord, so I can’t really say much. But wherever she or he is, I’m wishing that she or he has a rocking time.” Kristopher wasn’t good with comforting a person, you could see just by what he said now, but this was the best he could come up with. Kristopher smiled widely as he stared up at Jaesey. Hopefully she wouldn’t burst out crying.

TAGGED// JAESEY
WORDS// 1083
LYRICS// ESCAPE THE FATE – NOT GOOD ENOUGH
NOTES// HAH YES I KNOW. AWW YOUNG JAESEY!
CREDIT// ME

[JAESEY JACQUILINE VALENTINE]

Love had never been a thing that Jaesey put too much trust into. Love or lust, or even trust was something difficult for her to wrap herself around. She wasn’t used to being swept off her feet by anyone, or anyone acting like a serious gentleman. She had befriended a lot of guys in her time but most of them just stayed friends. Never had people really expressed too many emotions to her. She always thought it was because she was ugly and no one really appreciated her at all for her appearance but rather her simple personality. There were the occasional few that would tell her how they feel about her in a romantic way, but by the end of it all she would usually be screwed over by it all. Things like that never turned out well for her, so seeing this man pull out some charm right away was a little confusing to her, especially since they had just met. She knew she would just have to accept it and get over the fact that there might be someone out there that was just a sweet heart, so she threw any negative thoughts out the door and tried to concentrate on her current, happy thoughts. “Oh good, we wouldn’t want you to be too vain, now would we?”

For a moment, Jaesey tried to imagine herself as a stripper, the type of girl that had the confidence to just go out in front of a crowd, or even one body and expose her body to him. The entire thought sounded awkward, especially since she always thought that she wasn’t thin enough to even be sexy doing a strip. Of course she was actually quite small and delicate, but was that the type of body men wanted to see out there on stage? Whenever she heard of people getting poll dancing lessons or lap dance lessons she cringed a little with somewhat of envy and somewhat of disgust. She wanted to be the sexy type that people were impressed with, but she didn’t want to be a whore. “Well, I suppose I should tell you this, you may call me that if you wish, but it doesn’t mean that I will turn into a sexy secretary for you, you’d probably have to work for it first.” She tried to give him her most serious, sexy looking face she could, but before that happened she just started to giggle slightly. She never had really been good with having a serious face, she was just too much of a bouncy person to be like that unless she was in a very mellow mood of some sort, which at that moment in time she wasn’t in that type of mood, especially with this particular topic of conversation. “A meaning you say? Well, yes I suppose so, if you give yourself a nickname, it isn’t really that fun, it always is something more special when someone gives you a nickname for some random reason.” It was at that moment that Jaesey remembered that she used to always dream of receiving a really cool nickname from someone. Sometimes people gave her nicknames, but they were nothing cool or flamboyant that she would like, instead they were just simple. But that had always just been one of her silly little thoughts.

It was actually completely unexpected to have Kris scream. She just said “boo” to be her silly awkwardly funny girl and this guy actually had some more to him with a lot more enthusiasm and expression. It was ridiculously refreshing and she started laughing right away. She suddenly felt the urge to just hug this guy for bringing this glimpse of happiness in her life when it was most dearly needed at that moment. More than anything she hated it when people tried to be a sympathy card at her, she just wanted people to act the way they normally would and have fun, help Jaesey take her mind off of anything that was negative. When he spoke at her she started to laugh a little lighter, not really sure what to think at first, but then decided to just go with it. “I’m sorry, I guess I am going to need to learn to get it right,” As soon as he dropped his arms off of her and lost physical contact Jaesey felt a little weird. She was so used to having that part of her body be a little warm than the rest of her body. Being her typical, playful self she decided to take Kris up on his thoughts. She brought her one hand to his and slowly dragged her fingers across his hand all the way up to his shoulder, where she lightly pressed against the front of his shoulders. For a moment she gave her best sexy-pouty face and looked up at him, “Is this better for you?” She suddenly brought out a smile. It was too difficult for her not to smile a little in a situation like this.

Jaesey had to take her hand off of Kris the moment she started getting serious. She just couldn’t see herself being serious, explaining something that involved death and caressing this guy. She realized right away how odd her words must sound in the beginning and tried to correct herself to stop and confusion. It was difficult for her to speak about the situation, mostly because she hadn’t actually cared to much about her family that came from her mother side. There weren’t a whole lot of people she knew but even with that there was still a grievance in her mind. As she listened to Kris’s words of wisdom, she realized that he probably wasn’t the most comforting person to come to, and yet having him wrap himself around her again was something ridiculously comforting. Normally when she was upset about something, certain people touching her just made her angry and annoyed, but she felt tingly and content having the warmth of his body next to hers. She smiled ever so sweetly and decided it was best not to explain herself much further. There were just some things that she could keep to herself and didn’t need to taint the mind of another with. She held Kris’s arms as they held her. Something about that moment seemed so right, even if she had only met this person a moment ago. “Yes, I am sure somewhere out there he can be at peace with himself and not have to worry about everything that had him bound on earth, really I only worry for his wife and how she will make out, but she has always been a strong person… after all what am I supposed to do when I am dead as a shell?” She turned her body slightly, realizing that her face was very close to Kris’s and for a moment she felt herself freeze up slightly. Maybe it was just something about being in that moment of comfort but there was something that made her heart beat slightly faster than it had before.

LYRICS: i have to go return some video tapes by breathe carolina
COUNT: 1,186
TAGGED: kris
NOTES: hehe. Well, as young as 20 can be. [:

[KRISTOPHER ZANE ESTRELLA]

how does it feel when tears freeze?

when you cry?

Kristopher laughed at the word love, it was something which he was never really too fond of. What was love really? Just having some kind of over powered lust for someone as well as having the idea that you were in love with a person when you really weren’t. You were just controlled by the chemicals in your brain to believe that you were loved. Kristopher didn’t believe in love, not because of the cliché reason that someone had hurt him when he had fallen in love before; in fact, Kristopher had never actually fallen in love before, so he really had no reason to not believe in love. It just didn’t seem real. All these happy couples together, most of them just ended up in divorce or they grew up to hate each other, it was always like that really. Kristopher was romantic, all those love stories and films had taught him ho to be romantic, but really that was all love really. Just being nice to the person and buying them gifts once in a while to show that you cared for them, love wasn’t that strong in his case. He always tried to be as sweet as possible when he became friends with people, Kristopher could say that he loved his friends, but he could never literally mean it. “Well I like being vain, it makes me feel confident. It’s good to be vain once in a while.” Kristopher wiggled his eyebrows and looked at Jaesey with a funny expression on his face, “Like, I know I’m good looking.” Kristopher extended his arms as if he was presenting himself to Jaesey and stayed in that position for a few seconds before he let it drop.

He could imagine this girl as a stripper, she would be sexy and guys would definitely love her. She would probably be one of the best there was if she managed to get everything pat down. Kristopher liked to strip, when he was back at his boarding school, most of the parties consisted of the boys stripping and doing lap dances. The boys had this broom stick and they would hold it and just dance about. It was fun and Kristopher missed those days when he would be back in his dorm room playing strip poker and everything that involved getting naked. Kristopher thought that Jaesey actually did have a good body, it may have been a bit small but she would actually do well upon the stage. Small was better; well to him it was, like his friend always told him, good things come in small packages and what not. Kristopher raised his eyebrows at Jaesey. “I have to work huh? Tell me Ms Valentine…What do I have to do to get you to turn into a seductive secretary for me?” Kristopher put a serious expression on his face, many girls always told him that he looked even sexier when he looked serious and he wanted to try that on Jaesey. It looked as if she was trying to put on her most sexy, serious face too and Kristopher burst out laughing at the same time that she giggled. Kristopher definitely found this girl to be fun; she was definitely a keeper, wasn’t she? “Yup, all my nicknames have meanings and they were given to me by all my friends. Such sweet people, I’ll take you to meet them one day, I’m sure they’ll love you, since I already do.” Kristopher didn’t actually mean that he was in love with Jaesey; he meant that he liked her personality, her nature and the way that she acted. He hoped that Jaesey wouldn’t take it the wrong way and the he’d have to explain to her what he actually meant.

Kristopher just wanted to make Jaesey laugh, that was the only reason he screamed and he smiled when he succeeded in doing so. She laughed at his attempt to be scared and Kristopher laughed along with her. He nodded as she spoke. “Yes you have to be better Ms Valentine. Otherwise what’s going to happen to me?” Kristopher didn’t really want to let go of Jaesey, he loved hugging people, if you didn’t really now Kristopher one thing you had to know was that he was a hugger, a real big one of that too. But he thought that maybe Jaesey was a bit freaked out as to how close they were so he let her go. Kristopher watched as Jaesey moved her hand, following her hand as she dragged her fingers across his hand – which tickled – and then all the way up to his shoulder where she pressed against it. Kristopher arched his eyebrow and gave a small smirk as Jaesey asked him if that was ok for him. He shook his head and spoke seductively and slowly. “Not so much darling. Why don’t you try something like this?” Kristopher moved his fingers down Jaesey’s legs, lightly brushing it, all the way up her stomach and then he stopped when he came to her shoulder. He then lightly blew across her face, making her hair move out of the way so that he could see her tattoo properly. He then looked at Jaesey and gave a seductive smirk. He had to admit, Jaesey did look quite hot when she tried to put on a sexy pout. “By the way, the sexy pout definitely will have men falling at your feet.” He then winked at her.

Kristopher removed his head from Jaesey’s lap and then sat back up next to her. “Jaesey, you weren’t put into this life to worry about everyone else you left behind. You can’t do this in this life; it will just make you turn out all boring and old. I’m not saying to forget about everyone, but seriously death is a part of everything, and as for his wife, I’m sure your parents or someone will help her along the way. You can do so much when, as you say, you’re dead as a shell. Seriously, you can help them in anyway that you want, you’ll just probably be more like a…guardian angel or something.” Kris took Jaesey’s hand in his. “I’m serious, there’s more to this life than you really think.” He looked straight at her, her hand still in his and then smiled. “I know, I’m being a bit insensitive, but that is the way I am, I just don’t really like it when people just want to stay in the past all the time; it’s annoying.” Kris shrugged his shoulders and then let Jaesey’s hand own softly back into her lap. He moved away from her slightly and then lay down on the hard wooden floor, he really didn’t care if Jaesey didn’t feel comfortable being with an insensitive person like Kristopher, but seriously, talking about the past always angered Kristopher, especially since he never really did have a good past with family of his. “I’m sorry for being a bit insensitive. Do you think I’m insensitive?” Kristopher knew he was sometimes, but even if he told himself he didn’t care, he knew he was going to care what Jaesey thought about him, because she was sweet. Sweet and different.

TAGGED// JAESEY
WORDS// 1205
LYRICS// ESCAPE THE FATE – NOT GOOD ENOUGH
NOTES// AWW KRIS IS EIGHTEEN.
CREDIT// ME

[JAESEY JACQUILINE VALENTINE]

Never did Jaesey like to slip the word “love” out of her mouth. The word made her uncomfortable. Even when her family came up to her to tell her they loved her, she found it difficult to say the word. In her childhood she only really said it to her father and occasionally her mother, and then her father died on her. That wasn’t one of the greatest experiences for her. Even her grandparents never expressed any sort of love, nor did they really believe in the word. It probably wasn’t the most healthiest way to be raised, but after all, no language is actually able to find a way to say the word love, no language dictionary has a real word for it to translate, for some reason it is still there in English, though. Watching the boy now she couldn’t help but be slightly infatuated with his confidence. Even though she wasn’t the most confident person in the world, there were moments that she would look in the mirror with vanity, appreciating at least something about her (usually her eyes). But she had always been annoyed with boys that were extremely insecure because they would always lace themselves with Jaesey and she was sick of constantly having to reassure someone that they were actually decent looking or that they were an okay person. It was likely she constantly had to baby sit their insecurities and she didn’t like having to repeat herself over and over; in fact it was just one of her least favorite things. Seeing a boy that was actually confident with him was refreshing and made Jaesey laugh. Just his approach to it all was perfect. It wasn’t as if he was on a high horse, but he was just simply confident. “Well maybe you could share some of your good looks with me please? Don’t be so greedy!” When he had his arms up in a way for her to appreciate him, she slapped at one of them playfully. She was completely relieved to be surrounded by this guy, she just wanted to sigh and say ‘greatest moment ever’.

Truth be told, Jaesey wasn’t too good at being sexy… well at least that’s what she thought. She felt like she had to try too hard to be anything more than attractive. Really, all she needed to do was just act a little more comfortable in her zone and then everything would be okay. If only she could find her real zone. Really, considering on how she started with Kris, she should be able to get to that state quite easily, but it wasn’t as if she was just going to randomly stand up and just start stripping off all her clothes for him. That would just be odd and completely unorthodox especially at this time and place. “I don’t think I should tell you, it is a great secret of mine and only the special ones are able to figure it out on their own.” Truth be told, Jaesey wasn’t exactly sure what she was saying. Words were just coming out of her mouth. It was so unplanned that she wasn’t sure if it was a good or a bad thing. She winked at him slightly just to try to keep the whole thing going. “Maybe one day I will have to give you a nickname to end all other nicknames, like the best one you could ever receive.” She laughed slightly and then stopped for a moment thinking over what Kris had actually just said to her. Even though she was well aware that Kris didn’t mean anything about being actually “in love” with her, it was still so odd to hear the word love from anyone. It was just such a hard word for her to warp herself around. She decided to just kind of dodge it all and speak on her own. “Well, if I had more friends I am sure I would introduce them to you.”

Jaesey knew she wasn’t really good a seducing a man, and having Kris shake his had no at first was like hitting her in the face. It wasn’t anything bad really, it was just because she was so self conscious and wanted to be perfect for him at that moment. When he decided to show her the right way to do it, chills went down her spine. She was almost completely frozen till he made his way up to her shoulder, where she tilted her head back slightly, and closed her eyes. She felt so odd, but in a good way. Why did she feel this way with Kris? She never really felt this way with another guy, especially out of the blue, with someone she had barely just met. She tried to tell herself that it didn’t matter and that once again she was just over thinking it all. “Well aren’t you just the master of seduction, sir seduction?” She looked up at him, her lips still in the same form and her eyes held even more glimmer now that they were facing out the window where the moon greeted them. Had she just found a nickname for her new friend? Maybe she had. But then he said something about her pout and her lips turned into a smile and her eyes closed sweetly. Once again she could feel herself blushing again. She really needed to stop doing that.

When they found themselves in such a serious moment, Jaesey realized how odd it was of Kris to say that she would turn out boring if she was always worried about other people. She always thought of herself as plain and boring and nothing worth anyone’s time. But maybe he had a point. Maybe the reason why she thought of herself as such a boring person was because she focused too much on other people and didn’t take the time for herself. As he spoke at her, she could feel her eyes shaking, and moving about. She would focus on nothing in particular, since the building was still decently dark. When he grabbed her hand, her eyes shot quickly to look right into Kris’s eyes, and she felt extremely intense for that moment, not able to take her eyes off of him as he talked to her. She actually understood everything he was saying, and didn’t even try to think of a rebuttal because she was actually taking in the words. When he dropped her hand, her eyes instantly fell elsewhere, mostly looking down at the now lonely hand. She just sat there for a moment taking in everything a little longer. And when he asked her if she thought that he was insensitive she looked at him quick with a slightly angered face. Her eyebrows were actually furrowed and very serious, unlike they were a moment before. “I most definitely do not feel that way! If anything, I think you are quite honest, and I have to appreciate you for it because not very many people would be that honest with me right off the bat, so please, I completely understand what you mean, I don’t even know why I am so focused on it all, really, so if anything I should be thanking you for snapping me out of that, so please,” She rested her hand on top of his and looked right into his eyes, “let me thank you.” She smiled a little, her hand still on his and she decided to lean in to kiss him lightly on the cheek. When she pulled away, she was still quite close to his face, looking at his eyes for a moment and then smiled before she decided to try and pull her body back to its original form.

LYRICS: i have to go return some video tapes by breathe carolina
COUNT: 1,296
TAGGED: kris
NOTES: there is nothing wrong with an older lady god, I guess my trying to write less didn’t work out too well…

[KRISTOPHER ZANE ESTRELLA]

how does it feel when tears freeze?

when you cry?

Kristopher could sense that Jaesey was not much confident with herself; she always seemed to be glancing at herself whenever he said something to her which referred to anything about looks. He didn’t think that she needed to be worried about her looks anyway, she was definitely gorgeous and he was ready to tap her, if you knew what he meant. But she was much simpler than every other girl, she didn’t know of his play boyish ways but she probably could tell by the way he acted. He acted the same with everyone but for some reason, even though he just met her, Kristopher held a soft spot for Jaesey. She was different than all other girls and he knew he had found a good friend in her. She was smart, gorgeous and just plain sweet and he liked that about her. Sure she was a bit less confident and she seemed to be insecure about herself, but he found that cute and he was going to make sure that during the course of their friendship, he would make her believe that she was gorgeous and nothing less. Kristopher didn’t think he needed to be insecure about anything of him; he was the son of a famous star so obviously he would get the good looks gene, so he didn’t worry about his looks. Even on days when he seemed messy and weird and didn’t bother to get dressed properly, Kristopher always told himself that he was gorgeous. People needed to know that beauty just didn’t mean beauty on the outside, it meant beauty on the inside too and he wanted to show a lot of these girls that, even though he knew they would either smack him or roll their eyes. Kristopher rolled his eyes at Jaesey as she spoke. “Serious? You’re fucking gorgeous! Do you want to be even more amazingly gorgeous or something? Because let me tell you, you don’t need it at all.” He chuckled as she hit him playfully when he stood in his position, yes he knew he was somewhat cocky and confident but that was what made him, him.

Kristopher didn’t bother to attract girls or boys to him by being sexy; he just acted the way he was. If they liked him then they liked him and that made a happy Kris, and if they didn’t, they didn’t and that made Kris determined to find someone else. He didn’t bother trying to style himself p to look good on a date or something, because naturally everything just ended up with sex for him. He usually just wore jeans a plain shirt if he could ever find a clean one that was. Or he would just wear some grey sweatpants and make do with that, after all he was gorgeous and he knew that even if he wore something weird people would still fall over for him. He just had those special qualities about him that drew people in. “Hah! So that means you’ve done it for more people too? Damn, I thought I was going to be the first person you’d strip for.” Kris pouted, his eyes furrowing together. He laughed; he liked this side of Jaesey. When he saw her at first he didn’t think that she’d speak much or even say anything to him at all. He thought that she would shy away or something because she looked like that type of girl. But here she was speaking so much and having fun, and he liked that. “Well, I’ll be waiting for that day, because I’m sure the nickname that you’ll give me will be the bestest one yet! Now I have to find a nickname for you. But not yet, I need to get to know you more and then I’ll give you a nickname. And no one else will be able to call you that, apart from me ok?” Kris looked at Jaesey confusedly for a second or two but masked it quickly. “You have no friends? That’s great! That means I’m your first friend ever and that means I get to be your best friend too! Hah I beat everyone else! I am quite proud of myself.” Kristopher moved his head to the side and picked up his collar as if he were some kind of ‘cool’ dude.

Kristopher only shook his head at Jaesey when she was trying to seduce him because he didn’t feel as if he was being seduced, she was taking it slowly and yes she was doing a pretty good job, but for some reason it was as if she was forcing herself to like it or do it. Even though her facial expression showed that she liked it, he didn’t feel she was putting much into it. He didn’t want her to take it in a way that meant she wasn’t sexy, because Kris found her sexy as hell. She was just really sexy. He smirked to himself as he moved his fingers lightly across her body, and his smirk grew wider as he moved onto her shoulder, where Jaesey moved her head backwards and closed her eyes at his touch. She was definitely liking this and he liked making her feel this way, for some reason he felt as if no one really ever did this to Jaesey and if that was true, then he was glad to be one of the first to do so. “Oh I definitely am, I think I’ll seduce you more often, considering the fact that you seem to…like it.” As he said this, Kris let his hands wonder down to her legs again, he liked touching her there, just like he did with everyone. He liked the sound of ‘Sir Seduction,’ it kind of showed how exactly Kris was. He smiled as Jaesey blushed when he complimented her on sexy pout, he definitely liked it.

He didn’t want to make Jaesey feel bad that was never his intention. Never had he wanted to make someone feel bad, that was just the way he was. He didn’t want to hurt anyone ever, it always made him feel bad if he hurt anyone whether it would be intentionally or accidentally. He tried to keep his anger and envy and every other bad feeling (apart from it being sexual of course) down underneath in him, so he couldn’t hurt anyone. Kris actually cared about everyone, but when it came to their problems he really didn’t know what to do. The only people he didn’t care about where the ones that he left behind in the other world, maybe he did care about one or two and they were both from the boarding school too. He really didn’t care about his grandparents of his parents or any of his cousins or family, he just didn’t care about them. Kristopher looked at Jaesey with a bit of a surprised expression, she normally didn’t have the kind of angry, serious expression that she had now and it was scaring him. He smiled though as she spoke. “Ha-ha, alright then I will let you thank me. But I am sorry.” Kristopher shook his head and then stopped as Jaesey put her hand on top of his. He smiled slightly at the little gesture and looked at her. She then moved forward and kissed him on the cheek, he froze a little. Normally no one ever really kissed him on the cheek, they would go straight for his lips, he was a bit disappointed but Jaesey was different so he didn’t really mind. He stared at her, his eyes warm and smiled wide, and then she pulled back. Kristopher moved forward though and did the same thing. He kissed her on the cheek, and then instead of pulling away he rested his head against her shoulder. “Thanks.”

TAGGED// JAESEY
WORDS// 1306
LYRICS// ESCAPE THE FATE – NOT GOOD ENOUGH
NOTES// HAH YES I KNOW, KRIS LIKES HIS OLDER WOMAN (: YEAH IT DIDN'T WORK, THAT MEANS MORE WRITING FOR ME.
CREDIT// ME

[JAESEY JACQUILINE VALENTINE]

In a way, Jaesey was well aware of the way she looked, she knew how to make herself look good and she knew that sometimes she didn’t even need the help of make-up to look good too. She knew that she was generally attractive and that she wasn’t exactly ugly, but there was something else that always was on her mind. She hated it when people were gorgeous and knew they were, and flaunted it all the time. She didn’t like how some people became so conceited with themselves and became narcissistic. When she was alive she was always scared that if she said something about how she liked the way she looked people would look at her and tell her to shut up because they didn’t want to hear comments about her liking herself. She was afraid of other people’s insecurities, really, and didn’t like people having to feel more insecure just because Jaesey actually felt good about herself for a moment in time. It just didn’t really seem far, nor balanced, so she typically just made it so that people didn’t think that she was full of herself. Obviously, that was something she wasn’t going to tell anyone but had always kept with herself. But just talking to Kris she realized that she knew that’s he was actually a decent looking girl, but she would find it hard to admit that she was to anyone else but herself. “Fine then, I’ll just accept it.” She looked at him almost blankly, still slightly in her thoughts about how she needed to get over her petty fears and just embrace herself. After all, she was dead, what else was there to lose?

There was something about another person and them having confidence. People always seemed sexier when they were able to carry themselves that way. Some may have not of been the best looking character, but the way they walked, or the way there was a glimmer or a smirk on their face just made them very attractive. There was nothing sexy about someone who was always depressed and always acted like they were down on themselves and hated the world, that just made that person seem like a black void, and that was when a person turned into more of a black void because people just aren’t attracted to that type of person. Maybe that was why she suddenly felt so soothed by Kris? But why would she think she was attracted to him? Then again, what was the harm of being attracted to him? It didn’t mean that she currently had any heart-filled feelings for him or anything, it was just a little attraction, right? She laughed slightly. Her? Stripping for another guy, very unlikely, well, probably not unlikely just for her to do it for the type of sexual attention was most definitely unlikely. She touched her fingers to her lips as a way to hush herself and then looked back up at Kris. “Who says anyone has actually been the ‘special one’ to figure it out?” She laughed a little more and brought her hand back down feeling all smiley. She really needed to control herself. After all, she had just met Kris and she was already starting to get into her giggly and googly-eyed self. “I promise that when you find me a nickname not a soul will be able to share it with you, girl-scouts honour.” She soluted to Kris with a funny, twisted-lip face. It was a face she usually made just to look silly in photos when she was younger, but it also seemed to be a habit when she was just being funny. “I guess when you look at it that way, it isn’t as depressing for me to not really have friends, before I always thought it was slightly sad or pathetic, but congrats, you are officially my best friend, how do you feel about this?” She held out her hand as if she was making Kris speak into a microphone. Wouldn’t she just make the most adorable journalist?

There was a lot that had happened in the past for Jaesey had made her scared of a lot of sexual tension. It wasn’t something that she tried to think of often, nor did she tell anyone because she didn’t want to draw attention to herself, especially negative attention to another person. It wasn’t the first time she had ever been touched, but this was one of her more comfortable moments, especially in the past a lot of guys had forced themselves on her and she was just completely uncomfortable with being touched at all. She had heard so many stories from her mom, because apparently her mom had been raped around Jaesey’s age, and she had never really been raised with much appreciation towards sex in general. She loved the touch of a male though, there was something so soothing about it, but that was only when it was with a certain person. Jaesey wouldn’t accept anything from just anyone. She was always a particular person and when she didn’t feel comfortable she wouldn’t put herself in an even more awkward position as long as she could help it. She was broken out of her little spell for a moment when Kris said something about ‘liking it’… or at least something around those words. The pink on her face seemed to spread more obviously, so she bowed her head down, letting her hair cover the majority of her face. Suddenly, she wasn’t exactly sure what to think of herself. She could feel Kris’s touch, kind of but there was something almost distant about it. She tried to cut down that distant feeling, but it was almost difficult, almost as if her brain was pressing something against her. She tried to push through back to her normality, but there was just something fuzzy in her mind. “Hush now.” She tried laughing a little, but there was still something going on in her mind. She just wished it would go away.

Maybe it was just a spontaneous thing that had occurred in her body. Sometimes when she was younger she would have horrible black outs that were completely out of the blue. Everything would seem so distant, and a lot of that seemed to happen to her when she was young and ridiculous lonely, and then they started happening again when she moved to this small town, Empress. Once again they started happening when her father died and after a year or two, they happened less frequent. This was probably the first time in a long time that this feeling had crept up on her. She shook her head slightly before Kris kissed her cheek. She was happy that her head shaking hadn’t been to obvious, or else it might’ve sent the wrong message, or a message of rejection, and that was most definitely not what Jaesey was trying to do. Though, she was quite surprised when Kris rested his head on her shoulder. She just let it happen for a moment, feeling comfortable with his breath gently waving across her. She smiled sweetly to herself before she lifted her hand to graze Kris’s face. Her hand settled there and her thumb brushed over his face, repeatedly, until his head would raise back up. Once he had actually lifted his head again she looked into his eyes one last time, and smiled her lips naturally pursed. There was something just ridiculously adorable about him, it was just so soothing even when he wasn’t really doing anything. She blinked once before she leaned in slightly kissing Kris… right on the tip of his nose. It wasn’t exactly meant to be romantic, but it was something she just always thought was adorable. For her it was just one of those cute, perfect moments.

LYRICS: i have to go return some video tapes by breathe carolina
COUNT: 1,309
TAGGED: kris
NOTES: NOES. There is no need to one-up all my counts >< then it makes it harder for me to post back~

[KRISTOPHER ZANE ESTRELLA]

how does it feel when tears freeze?

when you cry?

He was glad that he could make Jaesey feel more confident, by the way he spoke to her. He was glad that she was able to get over her little worries that she was not pretty enough. He was happy. But he was a bit frustrated, because it seemed to be the first time that he hadn’t had sex with a girl in less than ten minutes really. Sure Jaesey was different, but he was still Kristopher wasn’t he? He had urges and needs like no other really in this life, it was amusing but weird too. But Kristopher definitely found it amusing that he hadn’t made a move on Jaesey yet, it was just completely bizarre. Who would have thought Kristopher would have stopped for one girl? But like he had thought before, Jaesey was different, much different than any other girl he had met, and she didn’t seem to be really falling for his charms, did she? Well she was kind of, especially when he touched her, but he could see the way she was hesitant, the caution in her eyes and the way she touched him. Yeah she was being confident and touching him everywhere, but still there was still some signs of caution in what she was doing. He really just wanted to touch her bones, but in a way eh didn’t know why, but Jaesey remind him of Moffie cakes, the guy he had met at the docks. It was weird but it was as if she was also some kind of person that was devoted to God, the feeling really just sprung out from her, even if she did act all sexy and all. “Good, as you should.” Kristopher nodded his head and waggled his eyebrows a little. At least she was trying to accept what he was saying.

Confidence was his speciality, Kristopher loved being confident. Everyone knew he was confident, no one could ever really imagine Kristopher if he wasn’t confident, even Kristopher couldn’t himself. He was just…confident. There really wasn’t any other way to describe Kristopher without adding ‘confident’ to the list of descriptions. Kristopher loved the people that acted confident; it was a big turn on for him. Even if they weren’t confident in front of other people it didn’t matter, as long as they were confident in front of him, just like how Jaesey seemed to be, there was just something sexy about a confident man or a woman. They way that they spoke, the way they talked and the way they knew they were attractive mad it all the more worthwhile for Kristopher, it was a good thing to see for him. He really didn’t like seeing people who weren’t confident with themselves; it just brought him down and made him think negatively. It was a good thing that Kris’ optimistic side was much more dominant then his pessimistic side, other wise who would have known how Kris would have turned out?

He was definitely attracted to Jaesey right now too, she was a confident, young sexy woman and he wanted a piece of her. Who knew when he would get it, but all he could do at the moment was try, right? He just hoped that he wouldn’t hurt her in the process of trying to get her; she seemed too fragile to take something harsh. “Oh? Then I will definitely be the first to get you to strip for me, and believe me I will pull all the tricks in the book. I’ll be that ‘special one.’” Kristopher looked at Jaesey and smiled, he wanted to be the first to see her do that. He was slightly amused by the way Jaesey had put her hand to her mouth before she spoke, and before he had told her he’d be her ‘one,’ he had touched her hand lightly before dropping his hand from hers. Kristopher did the exact same thing, mimicking her blushing self. He out his hand to his mouth and made a cute face, making it seem as if he was blushing a little and feeling shy. “Good, you can never break a girl-scouts honour; if you do then I will hunt you down and eat your num nums!” He nodded his head at Jaesey, his face in some weird, serious, expression. He smiled a little and did a little salute back to Jaesey as she did the same. He pouted his lips at her as she made a face too; he liked it because she looked cute. “Hey! It’s not depressing if you don’t have friends, sometimes you just need some time alone. Hmm how do I feel about being your friend? I hate it because you don’t strip for me! I mean I would strip for you in a heartbeat if you asked me too, but you, you’re a tease. But other than that, I love it!” He faked so many expressions along the way, speaking quickly into Jaesey’s pretend microphone and then ended it with his hands on Jaesey’s shoulders, looking into her eyes. She was definitely adorable.

Kristopher loved sexual tension; it was something which made everything seem exciting. The person didn’t know whether they should follow the feelings they felt or if they should hold back, it was amusing to see them make that decision. Kristopher never backed down from sexual tension, in fact he went along with it, and he rolled around in it because he loved it. He could definitely feel sexual tension between himself and Jaesey right now, but he wondered whether he should follow along with it or not. Jaesey seemed comfortable when he tried seducing her, but would she be comfortable if he tried more? Better to leave it for now, in case he got into trouble or made her upset. He smiled as he saw the blush spread across Jaesey’s cheeks, making her light up a little, it was cute. She was cute. He kept on smiling as she bowed her head, looking at the floor and letting her hair cover her face. It was just too adorable. She definitely did seem to blush a lot, but he didn’t really mind, it was cute to see it on her. He moved one of his hands towards Jaesey’s shoulder and the other moved upwards to move the hair out of his face. “Hey now, there’s no shame in blushing. It looks cute on you.” Kristopher moved his face down to her level, trying to get into the little space she tried to create, and looked up at her, his eyes were wide open. He laughed as she laughed a little, but this time it was distant, but he wasn’t going to ask her what was wrong. Maybe she was just thinking about things? “Alright then, if you want me to hush, then I will. But trust me a hushed up Kristopher is not more fun than a Kristopher that talks.”

Kristopher didn’t really notice Jaesey shaking her head when he went in to kiss her cheeks, he did notice her head moving a little, but he assumed it was just because she was a bit fidgety or something along the lines of that. If he had seen it, he wouldn’t have thought of it as anything, he would have still moved in to kiss her. He wouldn’t have taken it as a rejection if it did seem quite obvious. But anyways, it wasn’t as if Jaesey had moved her head did she? So it seemed like she really didn’t mind him kissing her. He sighed as he put his head down onto Jaesey’s shoulder, he felt quite comfortable really. He closed his eyes a little as Jaesey lifted her hand and let her thumb brush across his face. He smiled a little, content with the feeling but then he moved his head upwards, to look at her. He smiled at her as she smiled at him, wondering what she would do. He closed his eyes as Jaesey moved in to kiss him on the nose. Well it hadn’t been what he had really expected, but she had kissed him, so it was at least something. He smiled a little and then moved forward, kissing Jaesey on the cheek again. But this time he felt more daring, he moved to the side of her face and kissed down her jaw ad then back up again. He then stopped at her ear and just rested there, not knowing whether to carry on or not.


TAGGED// JAESEY
WORDS// 1418
LYRICS// ESCAPE THE FATE – NOT GOOD ENOUGH
NOTES//YES I KNOW. ERM I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THIS POST, I KINDA JUST GOT REAAAAALY INTO IT. SORRY >< KRISTOPHER, KRISTOPHER, KRISTOPHER, THE WAY YOU MAKE ME POST...DAMN.
CREDIT// ME

[JAESEY JACQUILINE VALENTINE]

She didn’t know why, she wasn’t certain for how it all came into her mind, but Jaesey was highly attracted to Kris. It may have been because he was a good-looking guy, but looks only went so far, especially for Jaesey. It could have also been because he was someone that she had randomly collapsed into without even knowing his name. He had been there for her when she was most miserable and he didn’t even need to have a personal relation with her, how much more sweet and kind could you be? But there was also the factor of his attitude and the quick pep talk that he had given her moments ago. Not many people had a direct attitude and for some reason Jaesey had always felt more drawn to people that were more strong willed with that sort of thing and people would always ask how she could be associated with some “mean” people, but she never saw them as mean, but rather saw it as them knowing what they want and not putting up with less than they deserve. She listened to him carefully as they talked about her stripping for him and she suddenly realized how open any infatuation between each other was. There were no secret little crushes, no embarrassment from random moments, but instead they were just out-right and talking about it. She wasn’t’ exactly sure if that sort of thing would ever happen between them, but she was quite open to joking about that sort of thing. So when he said that he would be the special one for her she just started being all giggly again and laughed, with nothing in her mind to really say at that moment.

“Oh no! Not my num-nums! Now I will definitely never break my honor code, not only for the sake of my girl-scout dignity but for the sake of my nums!” Her face turned to something that was only slightly serious but more than anything it was more adorable. Jaesey always seemed to be able to make her face form in seriousness, but there was always that little glint in her eyes that gave away something that was not even close to being serious. It was funny that Kris was able to play along with Jaesey’s little sense of reporter humor. It was actually quite endearing to watch his face… specifically his lips, change. For some reason Jaesey couldn’t help but have her gaze locked onto his lips, there was just something so slight and soft about them, she almost had his voice far off in a distance but then was snapped back into things when she realized that Kris had just dropped his hands on her shoulders. It most definitely surprised her and the expression showed both on her face and in her eyes. She found herself looking right into Kris and noticed how he was looking right at her too and for a moment she was frozen with uncertainty. What exactly was she supposed to do? Then she just decided to smile slightly in that moment. “Well I am sorry that I am such a tease for you, but it wouldn’t be fun if I was easy.” Her smile grew a little more, realizing that she was becoming more witty than she was before. This was a good thing, especially since just a moment ago she had been quite surprised by the new weight on her shoulders. As her eyes watched Kris even more she realized that there was so many more features to his face that made him even more appealing. Before she had never really analyzed him in full measures, but now that they were decently close to each other she could see everything clearly and it was all very beautiful.

She watched, through the mess of hair that she had, Kris’s hand life and whip away it all from her face. He uncovered her smiling, pinkish face. The truth was that she was slightly embarrassed for blushing a decent amount, but at the same time she was glad for it because it showed something about her still being alive. But her blushing matter was not helped when he called her cute. Before she had never been certain of what she thought of the word cute. It had always been something that she had heard guys say to girls when they didn’t think a girl was attractive, but they weren’t exactly ugly so instead they were “cute”. But in other times cute was also another word that was sweet and endearing, and hearing it from Kris didn’t make Jaesey feel unattractive, it just made her feel good to know that he thought something of her at all. She almost wanted to detest Kris’s decision to hush, and herself for even saying the word. She quite enjoyed listening to his voice, but there was something about the silence that was still comforting, especially after she leaned into kiss him on the nose.

She wasn’t exactly sure what to expect after she had kissed Kris. Actually, she didn’t really expect anything at all, not that she didn’t imagine things in her head. Moments like this always seemed to play like an old black-and-white movie in her mind as if everything would become romantic and perfect. When Kris leaned into his her again, she hadn’t actually expected him to kiss her on the cheek, and she was almost ready to say something about it, something smooth like “try that again” and then she would end up kissing him on the lips, but he seemed to find himself other places, that Jaesey couldn’t find herself protesting too. It was so soothing to be touched like that, especially as a ghost there seemed to be something especially chilling about it, but it was most definitely not in a negative context. She felt her spine tense up with it all, until Kris seemed to hesitate close to her face. She could feel his presence lingering just next to her and it was a tension that she hadn’t met in a long time. Finally she pulled her face away from his only to bring herself into him. Her body actually moved closer to Kris until she felt herself pressed against Kris, who would then be pressed into the wall of the building. Her nose was then touching his at that moment and her eyes met his again, but glanced down at his lips, and then back up to his eyes. It was one of those situations where she wouldn’t allow herself to think everything over, but instead let her body do all the thinking for her. She finally closed her eyes and pressed her lips to Kris’s, certain that he would press back, mostly for the fact that they had been sharing a moment not that long ago. After a moment that Jaesey found to be passionate and romantic to her standards she pulled away and opened her eyes, looking at Kris again.

LYRICS: i have to go return some video tapes by breathe carolina
COUNT: 1,167
TAGGED: kris
NOTES: bubbles, I am going to hit you; you post-maniac. Haha. But it's all good.