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Post by KRISTOPHER ZANE ESTRELLA on Aug 24, 2010 0:04:18 GMT -5
how does it feel when tears freeze? when you cry?
Why did Jaesey have to be so innocently cute for? It made him have to change his ways a bit since she seemed inexperienced and naïve. She seemed soft and delicate as if the slightest shocking news would give her a heart attack. It was so weird, but for once, Jaesey’s shyness and little bit of distance was what kept Kristopher intrigued with her. It made him want her even more and she seemed like a challenge too. She was different than all girls here, she had her morals and her rights and all those other good things inside of her. He wondered if Jaesey felt attracted to him. Some people mainly found him annoying because he spoke too much, but others liked him because of that very same reason. They liked the fact he didn’t suppress his thoughts and gave them his opinion, they liked the fact that he was kind and giving and they liked the fact that he was comforting; he knew the problems of people and never judged them. Kristopher never thought to judge people, when he was being sent to his boarding school he was nervous, scared. Scared that people would make fun of him because of the way he looked, of the way he spoke but he had nothing to worry about. The boys at his school were welcoming, friendly and just plain nice; eve though some were actually harsher than others, but they were still good. No one judged him so he decided to put that rule into his life and for him it was actually quite easy to follow. If someone told him that they had murdered their best friend out of jealousy he wouldn’t be ashamed or angry, he would be calm and talk to them; that was what people loved about Kristopher, his easy going personality.
He smiled as Jaesey went all giggly on him again and then laughed as he told her that he would be her special person. He actually did plan on being her special person, he just didn’t have a plan forming in his head yet, and he didn’t want to hurt her that much, so it would have to be a brilliant plan; one that would help him and not hurt her in any way possible. If that was even possible at all. “Good, I believe in you my little trooper, do not let down the num nums; they depend on you!” Kristopher made a serious face, but then a smile just broke out from it, especially by seeing Jaesey’s cute, adorable, serious face. She looked totally serious, but the glint in her eyes gave it away. It sparkled brightly in the darkness and made her look more devious than she really seemed. As he was speaking to her, he could sense that she was not really concentrating on what he was saying and he saw that her gaze was locked onto his lips. Kristopher urged himself not to smile but it didn’t work. The corners of his mouth slightly pulled upwards as he spoke. He smiled at her as he looked straight at her, he could sense her body becoming frozen underneath his touch, maybe he should stop with all the touching; it seemed as if she was becoming very uncomfortable by it all. He lightly shook his head with a smile and said, “You should be sorry. And hey, it would be fun, because once you give up the teasing, I would have made it worth your while.” He raised his eyebrows and then gave a little naughty wink at her. He liked the way how Jaesey began to speak back to him, making jokes and being witty too; he liked that a lot. She was changing, blooming right in front of his eyes and he couldn’t help but to feel somewhat proud of himself. He smiled a little as Jaesey as he felt her gaze on him, it seemed as if she was really analysing him, now that they were pretty close to each other.
He actually thought that Jaesey would kiss him on the lips, it just really looked like it by the way she closed her eyes and moved slowly towards him; it really did. Which was why it was a real surprise to him when she kissed him on the nose, know one had really ever kissed him on the nose, sure bumping noses was familiar but nose kisses? That was not familiar at all. But it was one of those cute things that little romance lovers did and wanted, it was funny but Jaesey seemed to approve of it. He would have decided to kiss her on the mouth, he really would have but he knew that Jaesey was different and he didn’t want to make her upset. He didn’t want her to cry and run away like some of the other more emotional girls did. Trust him; some girls did do just that, for a reason that was still unknown to Kristopher. Her skin was soft, plumped and luscious, it felt like one of those expensive lathering creams that his mother used to buy, and to him it felt really good. As he kissed down her cheek, her jaw, he felt her tense up a little, was she not really comfortable with this? But her body language told him otherwise, she seemed comfortable with him doing this and he was glad. He left his face next to hers, just hovering, not even touching her, and then she had pulled her face way from his and Kris moved his head backwards too. Well, she probably didn’t like it; maybe that was why she moved away. Kris stared at her for a few seconds, but then Jaesey made the first move. She pressed herself towards him, causing Kristopher himself to move back up against the wall. He had a questioning look in his eyes but his lips held a small smile, it grew wider though when he saw her gaze at his lips. Then her eyes closed and she leaned forward, Kris didn’t close his eyes until her lips were finally on his. He savoured in that little kiss; it was soft and delicious. Then she pulled away and looked at him. Kristopher stood still for a second or two and then moved forward, one hand reaching up to hold onto Jaesey’s chin and the other to her hair. He then moved his face closer to hers and pressed his lips harder. It felt good, really good.
TAGGED// JAESEY WORDS// 1088 LYRICS// ESCAPE THE FATE – NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOTES// NOT MY FAULT!! *RASPBERRY* IS THIS BETTER? (: CREDIT// ME
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Post by JAESEY JACQUILINE VALENTINE on Aug 26, 2010 22:00:57 GMT -5
Jaesey wasn’t the type to be pushed over by a guy. She looked like the type that was easily manipulated, but she was actually more complex than that, she actually had more too her, almost as if she had more than one personality. She could be quiet, and too herself but then she could have out bursts of fury and anger where everything around her is just completely irrelevant to her. The way she made herself work was usually completely based off of the person she was around, so yes, she was easily manipulated but once she felt completely uncomfortable in a situation she would start a fight. At this moment she wasn’t sure where she was with herself. Normally she was nothing too sexy, but she always tried to arch her body in a way to make herself seem more appealing, especially if there was something attractive about the person she was with. She hated the idea that the person could be thinking cruel things about her that she will never be able to know. She based her knowledge on what was going on in Kris’s head on his body language, and so far that had actually been getting her quite far. It was interesting some of his word choices and his way of speaking that reminded Jaesey of baby talk. Sometimes things like that rubbed her in the worst ways, but right now she just smiled, laughed and nodded along as Kris spoke. She couldn’t find anything in her mind that was worth saying in a reply, but she was happy to have heard something from Kris that made her laugh. She hadn’t been especially sure what the “nums” where, but she imagined them as colorful candies, and then could almost see herself sharing a glass jar full of them with Kris as they sat at her old house, when she was alive, just chilling out on the couch having an amazing conversation, similar to the one they were having now, but probably less sexual, and more adorable. She needed to shake that out of her head though, she wasn’t alive anymore and things never really worked out like the movie theatre of her mind, so she just needed to live in the moment she was in right now, especially since right as she cued back into reality she heard Kris’s voice again. “Worth my while you say? Would you mind to explain yourself some more, maybe go into a few more details for me?” She smiled at him, questioningly. It was so strange how her mind was wired at that moment. She had never really felt quite like this before. She had many romances in her life, but never this comfortable, which was nice.
Maybe she should always start her friendships and relationships by crying into the arms of the person she just met.
Jaesey had a way of being unpredictable. Even when she had met Kris from that very moment, who would’ve suspected that she would just collapse into someone’s arms, balling her eyes out? A lot of people always felt so drawn to her at first, only to push them away because she was so mysterious and they couldn’t handle not being able to read into her mind. Even now she found herself doing all the odd things that people don’t normally do, including the moment she kissed Kris on the nose. That was just something that she did because she was so much different from other peoples regular actions. She imagined what Kris would think of her reactions to everything, she questioned if she was predictable to him and then cringed a little at that thought. She hated being predictable, she loved having a little piece to herself that no one else could quite see, it made things easier for her, made her feel like she still had an advantage, at least for herself. She couldn’t stand how Kris was holding back before. She couldn’t stand that there was a silence between them and yet there was still thought in her head of them both knowing what they wanted. She told herself that he wanted to kiss her and she made it happen. It was one of the few moments in Jaesey’s life where she took control of herself instead of losing opportunities. In that moment as Jaesey had pulled away she wasn’t exactly sure if there would be anything that would make them continue or if maybe she was just being completely random and stupid. She was actually making up words for her to say out loud right before Kris actually kissed her. It was actually perfect and she felt so many sparks going on within her that she couldn’t even describe her emotions at that moment, but more than anything she was completely content and happy. She kept herself close into Kris and kissed back, although she couldn’t help but let her mouth slightly part into a smile and once they pulled away again she was still smiling, and her eyes fell looking downwards. “That was kind of awesome.” She found herself saying the words that she had never meant to say out loud. If anything she wanted to keep them in her head just as something she could repeat over and over again where the little girl would be squealing in the corner of her brain. She was almost ready to flick herself when she realized she had actually said those words out loud. “That kind of sounded dorky of me…” She rolled her eyes slightly and looked back up into Kris’s eyes wondering what exactly he was saying with them, as if his eyes would say something more profound than any voice could carry. Jaesey was lost somewhere, in her own little paradise.
LYRICS: i have to go return some video tapes by breathe carolina COUNT: 963 TAGGED: kris NOTES: lolz, raspberries are evil! Except for the fruit…
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Post by KRISTOPHER ZANE ESTRELLA on Aug 27, 2010 2:07:05 GMT -5
how does it feel when tears freeze? when you cry?
Kristopher loved to be sexual; it was such a strong urge inside of him to be sexual to any person that spoke to him; whether it would be a girl or boy. He loved to feel someone up, feel the adrenaline go through him, the list, the passion. Yes it was a bit sickening to feel this sexual, but Kristopher was exactly like that; he just loved it. If he didn’t feel anything sexual towards Jaesey right then, then that wasn’t Kristopher at all. When Kris wasn’t in a frisky mood he was either hung over or too drunk that he was comatose. Other than that Kristopher Zane Estrella was always horny and ready for anything. He was like any other teenager, a hormonal driven teenager. Jaesey seemed older, wiser than she looked and Kristopher wondered as to how old she was. It seemed as if she was an older woman and Kris smirked at the thought of him being her boy toy and her being his mature lover, it all would work out for him, that was how frisky Kris got, that he’d even go for older woman. But still, Jaesey was young, maybe one or two years older than him, so it didn’t really matter at all as to what she was since she did have a sense of humour at least. She was pretty, young, confident, sexy, all the things that Kris liked in a woman and that made him want her. It made him lust over her, yes he was thinking through things too much, but Jaesey was different and he didn’t think that she would appreciate it if he just lunged at her and began kissing her ferociously while tearing her clothes apart, now would she? Some girls liked it, especially when they felt the same way as Kris, but Jaesey was hesitant, even if she didn’t know it herself.
Kris always spoke like a baby; he was somewhat of a baby anyway, since he did have the mind of a five year old most of the time. Some people liked it and others found it annoying, but Kris didn’t care. After all, why should he? Kristopher didn’t really know why he sued the word ‘nums.’ To him ‘nums’ were the cookies that those wilderness scout girls or whatever they were called, sold. It was those lovely, chocolate things they sold and he just called it ‘nums,’ that was the first word that just came out of his mouth. Random words always seemed to be coming out of Kristopher’s mouth, it always did and Kristopher didn’t really care. If it came out, it came out even if it was something wrong. Kristopher always did somehow manage to say something wrong in bad situations. He smiled at Jaesey and then latched his index finger with hers. “Details huh? I don’t think that what I want to do to you is good to hear, you might just end up blushing over and over again. But if you want to know hun...” Kristopher moved closer to Jaesey’s body and then looked down at her, moving his face closer to hers; feeling confident and cocky all over again. “I think I may probably show you, and teach you some new things as well. Well, I’d first move your luscious blonde locks out of the way so I can look you straight in the eye.” Kris did the actions as he spoke, looking at Jaesey square in the eye. “Then I’d let my eyes rove around your face, move it closer to you, while my hands did a little travelling; a little teasing of their own. Moving up and down your thigh, and then maybe just lightly rubbing them across your stomach. Then to your face, where I’ll give you a light kiss, still teasing you. And well darling; that’s just a little bit of foreplay, the rest will probably soon follow after that, if you know what I mean.” Kristopher winked at her, looking at Jaesey’s reaction as he did everything to her that he just said. A smirk held on his face.
Kristopher was glad that Jaesey had collapsed into his arms, what if she hadn’t? Things would have probably gone a lot slower; they wouldn’t have been kissing like long lost lovers now would they? Jaesey would have probably just been coming out of her shell, or crying right now if she hadn’t told Kristopher what had gone wrong. If she hadn’t cried in his arms. It was all because she had collapsed into him, hugging him and crying, that was why they were a whole lot closer right now and as Jaesey had said before, it was good to get the crying out of they; Kris didn’t know if he could handle Jaesey crying right then. So it was definitely a good thing that all the crying was out of the way. He didn’t know as to why he was holding back on Jaesey; normally he would have jumped the girl by now and would have been trying to cop a feel or something, depending on how horny he was. It was difficult, very difficult to stop him from touching Jaesey up, from moving her mouth close to his and then just kissing her, giving her the time of her life and from feeling the same adrenaline he always felt when he was with someone. He smiled into their second kiss as he felt Jaesey’s lips turn upwards too, she obviously liked doing this and he definitely loved doing this too. He smiled again as to how cute Jaesey was when they finally parted and she looked down straight away; it was just too darn adorable. He gave a little chuckle as Jaesey spoke, Kristopher kept quiet though. His hand was still resting against her cheek and with his thumb; Kris gently made small circles on her cheek as she spoke again. He laughed this time and then put both hands on Jaesey’s face, moving her face upwards to look at him. “That was not dorky babe, you were right. That was definitely awesome.” He moved forwards and kissed Jaesey on the cheek again, this time going to her nose, her forehead, her cheeks and then down her jaw all the way to her neck.
TAGGED// JAESEY WORDS// 1049 LYRICS// ESCAPE THE FATE – NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOTES// MWAHAHA I LIKE BLOWING RASPBERRIES! CREDIT// ME
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Post by JAESEY JACQUILINE VALENTINE on Aug 27, 2010 12:51:16 GMT -5
Thump, thump. Thump, thump. Thump, thump. Jaesey could hear her heart, she could feel it right now. She heard it in her ears while also feeling it pound against her chest. If she was to take off her shirt right then, she was sure you would be able to see the pounding motion in her chest. Jaesey wasn’t exactly sure what was going on with her body right then. It was actually almost over powering, how her heart seemed to take over her thoughts. She starting thinking about all the horrible things that she had heard about in biology before she dropped out. She had been lucky and dropped it the day they were dissecting hearts because if she was actually to stay in that class she knew that she would’ve fainted. Even now, knowing that there was a muscle that was so powerful in her body right now and that she could hear and feel it was terrifying to her. What if it started to beat so fast that it eventually exploded? She was so scared she couldn’t even contain that. Things like that had always terrified her. Everything was just moving so fast that she wasn’t exactly sure what was going on. She just needed to settle down and maybe she would be okay. She was just over thinking things again, like she always seemed to be doing. She hated herself a little for it. She just wanted to be a normal person that didn’t over analyze every situation. Really, she wasn’t in danger, but she made it seem like these moments with Kris were something that was bigger than it probably was. She repeated to herself how she just needed to calm down and not focus so much on everything, just let loose.
More than anything she was actually curious to what Kris wanted with her. He seemed like the type that was open to talking about those types of things, and that was what she needed at this moment, a confidence boost. She didn’t actually think that Kris would do more than speak words, and as he moved his body around, while spilling out words, she couldn’t help but have her eyes wander all over the place. Sometimes she would be watching Kris’s lips, or his eyes, and other times she would be following his hand as it dragged and draped itself over her body. She was speechless for the entire time being. What exactly was she supposed to say in moments such as this? She embraced her own silence as something that was almost sexy in a conservative way. She allowed all movements across her body and enjoyed the moments of it. She knew she was probably blushing a little, just like Kris claimed she would be, but this time she wasn’t so focused on it. Also, she was sure that Kris wouldn’t be focused on her rosy cheeks, but rather on the rest of her body. For a moment she sucked in her stomach, as if she really needed to, just as Kris grazed against it. She had always been particular about her stomach being touched, mostly because it was just another part of her body that was scary and could be affected so easily, the simplest things could make you bloat up like a balloon, or make you shrink into a stick. She smiled though, feeling a little easier with herself. When Kris finally found himself at a halt with his words, Jaesey had her gaze downward, but then looked up to see what Kris was saying with his eyes. She smiled slightly as she looked into, almost as if she was about to chuckle. “Well I have to say that is a good start.”
As things continued Jaesey started questioning some things in her mind. She wanted to know a little more about Kris. It wasn’t as if she wanted to get into his head or anything, but she felt like all she knew was a piece of his personality, not really who he was. Was his name short for something? If it was, was it for Kristopher or Kristian? In the past she had known lots of people with that name but they came from different sources. She wanted to know if he was from Empress like she was and she wanted to know why she hadn’t actually known him before then. He seemed like the type of person that was from the around the time when she died, but who could say that? Maybe Kris didn’t want to tell her all of those things, but Jaesey hated feeling like she was at a disadvantage. After all, Kris knew that someone had died just recently in her life and that had made her slightly miserable as she well show cased moments before. She was almost ready to jump into some questions, but she was scared to ruin the moment. She had always been one to ruin things like that. She smiled as he replied to Jaesey’s sad words, unsure of what to say in response, so instead she became one worded, “Right.” The smile was still on her face as Kris seemed to continue with his adventure along Jaesey’s body. She felt a little self conscious that maybe she wasn’t creating enough action for him, as if she should be doing something more to make herself more appealing for Kris. Sure, Kris found his way down to Jaesey’s neck, but it wasn’t like Jaesey was doing the same to him, it seemed a little unfair. She lifted her hand to rest on Kris’s chest, and found herself swiping it upwards until she found the square of his shoulders, where her hand rested. She just needed to wait for the perfect moment.
LYRICS: i have to go return some video tapes by breathe carolina COUNT: 960 TAGGED: kris NOTES: I don’t like giving or receiving them ><
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Post by KRISTOPHER ZANE ESTRELLA on Aug 27, 2010 17:06:20 GMT -5
how does it feel when tears freeze? when you cry?
He was not falling in love with Jaesey, no way, José. He never fell in love with a person, and he thought to himself that if he did ever feel something towards someone, when it would be love, then it would be something...different. Not these weird twisty feelings in his stomach. Not the weird sweaty feeling in his palms, in love with Jaesey was he? No fucking way. Love was something that Kristopher had never felt, although he had read about it, seen actors portray the emotion in thousands of films and heard millions of songs about the word all over the place. Love was just something different and he wasn’t supposed to be different. Kristopher swore to himself that when he would fall in love it would be to someone amazing, completely amazing. Not that Jaesey wasn’t amazing, but he wanted someone with a little more...oomph. Maybe it was just the adrenaline pumping through his veins? Even though his heart wasn’t really something that was pumping, but yet he felt as if his heart was pumping. It was pumping blood around his body, it was pumping hormones everywhere it was making decisions for him. It was weird, but no love was definitely not on the list for him. Maybe it was just overpowered lust? Yeah, that was probably it, he hadn’t done anything sexual with anyone in about two days, and maybe that was why he felt weird. He had to do something, didn’t he? But not with Jaesey, because she was sweet and he didn’t want her to end up hating him. He didn’t like it when people didn’t like him, even if he really didn’t care. But he liked Jaesey, she was a good person, so he wanted to stay friends with her, stay in touch with her. It would be good for him. He needed to stop over thinking everything that he went through with Jaesey; it was really the only way. He had to stop thinking about love, love was nothing important. Nothing important at all.
Kris smirked as Jaesey looked at him, speechless as he showed her what he would do with her. It was funny, normally he would actually do something like this with a girl when he wanted sex, but he knew Jaesey was probably not going to fall for it yet, it was fun to wait but it was getting tiresome too. Maybe a little bit more teasing was in order. It was amusing to see Jaesey’s eyes wander over him as he did what he wanted to do with his hands, his fingertips gently playing along her. He didn’t concentrate on her gaze on his lips, his eyes or his hands though; he was himself concentrating on what he wanted to do with Jaesey, on how he wanted to make her feel. Not many girls said anything while he did this, they would either close their eyes or let him do this while they took the pleasure or they would stop him and forcefully kiss him, not really wanting the teasing to happen. But Jaesey was different, and he knew her reaction would be different too. She wasn’t going to pull him to her; she wasn’t going to really do anything. This surprised him, whenever he thought Jaesey would do something, she would always do something that was the total opposite. He smiled though, she was reacting in some way, a way he had predicted that she would; she was blushing. It looked cute; real cute on her and he liked it. He chuckled as he still let his hands wander over her, concentrating on her body. As he reached her stomach he felt her suck it in and shook his head, she was conscious of her stomach. When she let it back out, Kristopher let his hands rest on her stomach for a few seconds, she was not fat, nor was she too thin, she was just average like many girls were, she had no reason to be self conscious but he didn’t say anything, just let his hands draw a few more swirls on her stomach before he continued. He smiled as she finally looked up at him when he finished touching her up. At least she hadn’t punched him for doing just that like some others did. “I have to say that, that is a good start too. Maybe we can continue in some time?”
Kristopher never really told anyone about himself, once he told them his name they would go into frenzy about his father and he didn’t want that. He especially didn’t want that to happen with Jaesey, he didn’t want his father’s fame and fortune to overshadow him just like it always did. He only told people his first name and as little as possible. He told them mainly about the boarding school because no one knew that the son of the Estrella’s ever did go to boarding school, they thought he went somewhere fancy in the North. He wanted to get to know people more, forget about him it was all about making friends by getting to know others. That was why people always felt comfortable in Kristopher’s presence, because he let them speak whenever they wanted to, even if he did speak a lot himself. He wanted to know a little bit more about Jaesey though, all he knew so far was her name and one of her relatives had just died a couple of hours ago, that was quite a lot for a first meeting, but not enough for Kristopher. As Kris continued down Jaesey’s face towards her neck he felt her hands on his chest and smirked into her skin, liking the feeling of her soft hands on him. He made his way back up again to her ear and then nibbled on it as she moved her hands upwards to his shoulders. Kristopher’s hands made their way down as he gave Jaesey yet another long kiss, he stopped at her legs. He wanted to pick her up and feel her legs wrap around his waist, but he didn’t think that would me most acceptable yet. So instead he moved it to her waist and pulled her closer, leaving his hands there as he carried on kissing her.
TAGGED// JAESEY WORDS// 1048 LYRICS// ESCAPE THE FATE – NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOTES// I LIKE GIVING THEM! CREDIT// ME
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Post by JAESEY JACQUILINE VALENTINE on Aug 28, 2010 22:16:13 GMT -5
Everything needed to be thought over. There were a lot of morals that Jaesey had created for herself after she had experienced some disgusting, and horrifying events with ex-boyfriends and she had always told herself she refused to live like that again. One of the things she told herself was that she couldn’t be easy. Never in her life had she been considered easy, actually she had always been thought of as one of the harder girls to get to, but Jaesey feared that something like this might happen to her. Maybe she would feel infatuated for the night and find someone just like Kris and she didn’t want that. After her past experiences and what had happened to her when she was younger, there was no way that she could completely put herself into all of this. For the time being she had been sweet and conscious of Kris, but there was something else inside of her that was really her that she needed to hold back a little more that she was giving in too much too fast. She almost wanted to hit herself. She was far from being appalled at Kris, but was more disappointed in herself for giving in. Obviously her mind and her body wanted two completely different things.
Jaesey wanted to sort everything out in her mind, but she knew that if she took that sort of time Kris would notice something was up with her. She hated being like that; it was one of her greatest downfalls. She knew she wanted more from Kris, but what she didn’t know was how fast she wanted it all to happen. More than anything she just wanted to take a break from all of this and settle back into a conversation or something, though it seemed like the two of them had never actually been talking about stuff, and were more focused on touch, which worried her slightly. She didn’t want to offend Kris, though he didn’t seem like the type to be offended by that sort of thing. When he spoke she could feel a tinge of guilt stinging in her stomach. She wasn’t exactly sure what to say, because her mood had collapsed so fast. She didn’t want to seem bipolar to him. She smiled, but it was hesitant, “Yes… some… time.” At her response she couldn’t find herself to look him in the eye in fear that he would actually be able to see that there was something the matter with her at that moment.
Why was this happening to her? Why was she suddenly feeling like this when she should be happy and in great pleasure from it all. It was all so ridiculous. She damned herself for having a conscious about it all, for having morals that made her feel this guilty. But at the same time she knew she shouldn’t feel shame for that, that she should be proud of who she was, just everything was really mixed up right now. Of course the kissing was nice, and the physical contact. Jaesey had always been one to thrive off of that sort of thing. Jaesey allowed her body to be fixed more into Kris, but her thoughts kept pounding and reminding her of what she had been thinking of moments before. As they continued to kiss, Jaesey felt herself slowly peel away from Kris’s body. She tried to pull herself slightly away to make the movement not seem so subtle when she was actually even further away from Kris. Finally she pulled her lips apart from his, looking downward again with her typical self-conscious face. She kept herself like that as the silence seemed to gather around the two of them, and finally she couldn’t stand it anymore and found herself standing up. Quietly, she brushed off her clothes, not that they would really be tattered. She actually smiled for a moment at her own actions and laughed slightly. “Kris must think I’m insane.” Finally, she brought herself to look in his direction, but she couldn’t really see his expression because of the darkness that divided them. She wondered what he was thinking, and questioned if he was asking what he could have done to make Jaesey pull away. She knew right away that she probably would not answer these questions for him. It was just that instinct that she had of being over mysterious and always leaving things out. She shook her head and started to walk a little on the top floor where her and Kris still shared at that moment.
LYRICS: i have to go return some video tapes by breathe carolina COUNT: 763 TAGGED: kris NOTES: I feel like my post is completely elementary and lame.
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Post by KRISTOPHER ZANE ESTRELLA on Aug 29, 2010 1:40:12 GMT -5
how does it feel when tears freeze? when you cry?
Kris had no morals. When it came to boys, girls and sex he would go through with it. Sex was everything for him, it made him feel alive and happy. A bit weird, yes, but it was true. He never had any horrifying events when it came to the opposite gender or his same gender actually. Everything went smoothly for him. His life was eventful; well that was after he had been sent to the boarding school, but yes it was really uneventful. He was easy if someone wanted sex, you just had to whisper the words in his ear and he would be stripped and ready in about under five seconds, he really didn’t care about his title as the so called ‘man whore.’ He was who he was and nothing could change that. Any how, he didn’t see anything wrong in being a man whore; he was just someone who really liked having sex. To Kristopher a man whore was someone who had sex with just about everyone, but when he had a girlfriend too, so in his eyes Kristopher was not a man whore even though everyone called him one. He knew he was as cocky, confident and sexy just like one but he wasn’t that bad was he? In this life no one really told him that he was a man whore, girls didn’t punch him for having sex with others, so he really wasn’t one.
He knew that everything that he was doing with Jaesey was going way too fast, but Kris was fast, he didn’t care he just wanted it. He wanted to strip her naked and do everything with her, she was making him feel horny; too horny and he wanted to do it so badly. But in the few moments he knew Jaesey, he knew that she wasn’t that easy; she was a tease and he knew she wanted it as much as he did. Her body betrayed her very badly, but he knew she was a sensible girl and would try and get out of this. But right now he was going to enjoy himself immensely before she even thought of pulling away. Wasn’t she enjoying this? She seemed distant in their kisses, it was awkward but Kristopher still carried on. He wasn’t the type to get offended if someone pushed away from their kissing, it was their choice, they were either just confused or didn’t want to go any further; it was obvious that this was how Jaesey was, and when she spoke he knew exactly what was happening. She was getting second thoughts because she didn’t want to any further, it was obvious. He just gave her a small smile at her hesitant answer though, not wanting her to feel awkward.
But she hadn’t seen him smile because she was looking down. He knew all the signs when someone wanted to quit something. They became shy, distant, looked away and then atmosphere became filled with tension. He didn’t want to be filled with these thoughts so Kristopher focused on the kissing. Jaesey was really the only person who would reject him like this; no one ever had done something like that. Why was he thinking like this for though? Jaesey hadn’t pulled away from his kisses yet, so it was obvious that she liked it, maybe he was just over thinking all of Jaesey’s actions. He first felt her body slightly pull away from his; the pressure that had been on his body was gone, no more warmth, no more nothing. Their lips were still connected though and Kristopher revelled in the kiss before it would be taken away from him. Her body had been pulled away ever so gently and carefully as if she didn’t want to startle him in anyway. Then finally her lips were pulled off of his and Kristopher’s eyes flew open, his hair was a bit frazzled and as Jaesey looked down he ruffled his hair awkwardly, giving a small cough. It seriously didn’t feel that bad being rejected like this, because this gave Kris a new challenge. He knew that he had to have her, her actions showed him that she was still either a virgin or hadn’t had sex much and that was why she felt awkward, and now Kris definitely wanted her. Then she pulled herself up, brushing the imaginary dirt off of her clothes, but Kris made no movement. After she seemed to smile to herself, Kristopher stood up and then ruffled his hair again, not really knowing what to do then. He really had no emotion on his face; he really didn’t know what to feel. Kris squeezed his face together for a few seconds and sighed. He wasn’t going to ask her anything, if she didn’t want this, then she didn’t want this. Who was he to force her? As she walked around the floor, Kris kept his eyes on her, following her every movement. Then he was behind her and he wrapped his arms around her body from behind, his head on her shoulders. “You ok?” He wanted to lighten the mood up.
TAGGED// JAESEY WORDS// 856 LYRICS// ESCAPE THE FATE – NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOTES// IT WAS GOOD. CREDIT// ME
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Post by JAESEY JACQUILINE VALENTINE on Aug 29, 2010 4:58:31 GMT -5
In the moments that Jaesey had to herself she wasn’t exactly sure what to think. She wanted to think about thinking, but the more she did that the more she confused herself. She was only thinking because she felt like she needed to; it was complicated. She knew her morals, she knew what she wanted and she also knew that she wouldn’t be pushed into anything too fast. She couldn’t deal with another one of those relationships. “Wait. Relationship? What I’m I thinking, I barely know this guy, there is no way I am thinking of a relationship after all of these things. All I ever do is conclude that once a guy tries to slip his tongue he is wanting a relationship, I need to stop fantasizing about those sort of thing. Not all guys work like that, I need to stop thinking of my life as some sort of television drama where everything is packed into one hour.” Jaesey was starting to get frustrated with herself and hit her forehead with her palm as she reached the end of one of the floor boards. “What am I even doing right now? What is he even thinking right now as I pace around like some sort of psychopath? Jesus, this is annoying, I wish I could just figure out what I want with myself and everything else wouldn’t be so fucking confusing.” She turned around just slightly to find that Kris was standing up in the spot where Jaesey had left him. She was still for a moment not really sure what to do or what to think. At that moment she just felt so watched and worried slightly that Kris could listen to what was in her brain at that moment, which was nonsense since no one would ever really know what was going on in that thing. “Just walk back in that direction,” She prompted herself, having to repeat her thoughts several times before the message from her brain reached her feet. Finally she made a movement in the direction of Kris but she stopped only shortly after a few brief steps. “What are you planning on doing with yourself, Jaesey? You already walked away from a boy, you can’t just literally walk out on him now randomly, that would be stupid, jesus, you’re stupid.” The voice inside of her head was starting to be over powering. Jaesey knew she couldn’t just flail around like an idiot, but right now she just felt like it. She wanted to scream at herself, or punch a wall or feel something that would bring her back to the present. That was one thing she missed about being alive: when she was angry she could punch a wall and then get over things easier. She just needed to relax. With a deep breath Jaesey quickly pulled herself together and started walking again.
She started walking in the direction of Kris, but then made her way to walk right passed him for a moment. She realized how rude that would seem to most, especially since the direction she was now heading was towards the stairs that lead to the main floor of the building. She wasn’t exactly planning on leaving the building. Her heart knew it wanted to stay upstairs with Kris. Quietly, she turned around back in the direction of Kris, but before she knew it he had wrapped himself around her. It was actually quite the surprise, something she definitely had not been expecting. What else was to be expected, really? Eventually she would need to be stopped from all the pacing and just focus on where she was now. Maybe this was the best way for her to snap back into things. She felt the warmth of Kris’s body all over again and smiled just slightly, having flashes of the moment that Kris and her had just shared.
His question rang out in her mind for a while before she was able to find herself answering it. Was she actually okay? A typical person would just lie and say they were but Jaesey actually needed to think about the question a little. She nodded her head slightly, “Yes, I think I am fine.” She continued to nod her head as if it was some weird way of assuring herself. Suddenly she stopped her head bobbing and just accepted that she was being held by Kris. Gently, she rested her hands over Kris’s folded arms. For a moment she closed her eyes as if to have another moment to herself as she was still in the embrace of Kris. Maybe she just needed to do a little more first before she could settle herself into this all. Obviously, there were some things that Kris wouldn’t understand about her; things that he would assume but would be desperately mistaken of. She just needed to take things a little slower and maybe things would be a little better for her. She smiled to herself which sounded good. Kris seemed like the understanding type, the type to be really patient with a person… hopefully. “Did you just want to walk around the house for a bit or something?” Walking seemed like the best way of shaking out all of her nerves. “Yes,” she reassured herself, “it sounds perfect.”
LYRICS: i have to go return some video tapes by breathe carolina COUNT: 885 TAGGED: kris NOTES: well, I like this one a little better, its more realistic ;p
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Post by KRISTOPHER ZANE ESTRELLA on Aug 29, 2010 12:18:40 GMT -5
how does it feel when tears freeze? when you cry?
It was bizarre. Totally and utterly out of this world kind of bizarre. What girl didn’t like Kris? Apart from Magdalena that was. Well Magdalena did like him, she just didn’t want anything sexual with him and he understood that. After all she was a bit too much into God like Moffie, and she definitely was a virgin even if she didn’t tell him face to face, it was just obvious by the look on her face. So Magdalena was one girl, he took that, but it hurt to literally have another girl not want him. It was weird for him, difficult too. Just really weird. “How can girls not want me? How could Jaesey not want me? Sure I’m a bit too cocky and such, but I’ve been nothing but nice to her. Damn, but it is only the first night right? I can’t expect her to fall in love with me that easily and that quickly can I? I can’t be different to her. I just have to be nice, after all it is obvious that she wants me, I just have to use the usual charm. That’s it, don’t do anything different. She ‘s just not ready for you.” Words of comfort were what Kristopher needed, he couldn’t just carry on. It was weird, the second girl to ever discourage him and it felt weird. But he had to admit that not even he could not get everything that he always wanted. It was just not possible, no one could get everything that they always wanted, was not possible at all. He groaned at those thoughts, but quietly so that Jaesey wouldn’t hear him. He watched Jaesey pacing around and then slap herself on the forehead in frustration; he lightly chuckled to herself and wondered what she was thinking about. “Does she know about how I live my life? Does she think that I’m the man whore that everyone thinks of me as? What am I supposed to even say to her right now? She looks angry or...maybe a bit upset that she kissed me. Who got upset when they kissed someone? Well only the people who just recently broke up did. Wait. Did I just make out with a girl after she broke up with someone or something? Was that why she pushed herself off of me because she missed her ex?” Kristopher shook his head free of these thoughts, no who was he to care if Jaesey had a previous boyfriend. But what if she was just only using him? Well actually, Kristopher wouldn’t have minded if he was being used for something sexual at all. If she wanted a sex friend or a kissing buddy then he was definitely the guy to go to. Kristopher’s cockiness came back to him and he smiled. Well, that was just a little blow wasn’t it? He looked at Jaesey as she moved towards him and then stopped. He squinted his face together in confusion. “Ok, now what kind of game is this girl playing with me right now? Does she want me to beg to her or something?” He took a deep breath and then just watched Jaesey, his lips in a bored pout.
His lips were still in that bored pout as Jaesey walked towards him, but then his expression turned into one of confusion as she walked right past him. “Ok what the hell is going on?” He looked behind him as she stopped near the stairs. Was she going to go? Was she going to leave him on his own in this place? Kristopher made sure that he wouldn’t care, she was just a random girl he had met and hooked up with, but she was a challenge, a challenge that he really wanted. Then when she made her way back towards where he was, Kris didn’t want her to go; he didn’t want to be all lonely again. He wrapped his arms around her strongly, not wanting to really let her go; it felt good to hug someone. He needed a hug, they had been kissing a lot, and he liked that but he wanted a hug. He smiled a little as he saw Jaesey smiled at the contact, there, that was all that was needed. Or was it?
Kris let his mind wonder for a while. What was going on with this girl? Why was she giving him mixed signals for? If she wanted him she should just tell him, instead of running away from him. It was obvious by her body language and how she reacted to his touch, that she wanted him, but there was something that was stopping her form going all the way. Something in the back of her mind that was warning her of Kris and Kristopher smiled at that thought. He nodded as she answered, her head nodding away too as if she was reassuring herself of the fact that she had just said. It was weird, but Kris would accept it. He smiled at Jaesey as she put her hands over his, letting it linger there for a moment. He squeezed her a little and knew that tonight he was not going to get what he wanted. He would just have to accept that and not make a fuss out of it. He had to control himself and just carry on normally; it was just what Jaesey wanted. She wanted to take things slow and so he would. He watched Jaesey’s face closely as she smiled to herself again. What was she thinking about that kept on making her smile? It was weird why he wanted to know, but he did. “Ooh, yes let’s walk around. Maybe there’ll be a few more ghosts around and we can disturb them. Let’s go annoy people!” Kristopher smiled at Jaesey and let her out of his embrace, but he held onto her hand and began leading the way.
TAGGED// JAESEY WORDS// 990 LYRICS// ESCAPE THE FATE – NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOTES// HEHE CREDIT// ME
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Post by JAESEY JACQUILINE VALENTINE on Sept 18, 2010 21:49:33 GMT -5
Most days, Jaesey could feel herself completely comfortably. When she was alive, everything seemed to fall in place when she was with a group of people. Her entire body seemed to just work with herself, rather than shy away in a corner. When she was in a smaller group of people, it was still the same way. As long as there were more than her and another person she could find her center point and everything would be just fine. She could talk to someone over the internet and things would be fine, but when she was having one-on-one time with people she usually shied away if she felt like she didn’t know that person well enough. She liked to know the way other people worked before she spoke. She wanted to know their reaction to certain types of conversations before she could say anything. She never wanted to offend anyone in anyway, which made her quiet. She just didn’t know Kris as well as she should, and more than anything that was her main issue. She remembered so many times she had jumped into relationships where she didn’t know a person well enough. Once she had gotten in a relationship where she was the one that shared everything about herself with the boy, but he just didn’t seem to want to share anything with her. It almost seemed like her mom and his dad were better friends. But then again, that’s what she got for dating one of her mom’s oldest friends, especially right around the time her father passed away. She shouldn’t have expected a relationship to last when she was in such a form. For her, relationships hardly last when she was going through drastic things, especially when she just wanted to be alone. But the thing was, Kris was not another relationship, right now it came close to being just a hook up. Sure she kissed him, but that didn’t mean she had to hook up with him. She couldn’t stand herself if she just randomly hooked up with a person. As silly as it was, she needed a title of some sort.
Jaesey never wanted to have a reputation for being a whore, dead or alive. She’d rather be the person that everyone could trust. The type of person people looked up to because she was more into having a real relationship than one based off of partying. When she got into relationships, she tried to make them last, and by making them last she meant more than one night or than a week. She realized that when she was alive, she needed it to find a relationship where she could actually get to know a person instead of just their name and some random things. She wanted someone that would be fun, loving, and clean. She couldn’t stand being abused by boys, or seen as just another notch on the head board. These were her morals, and that was just the way it was. It didn’t matter how charming Kris could be, it didn’t matter how much she enjoyed his company or his kisses, she just wouldn’t find herself on that road, ever.
It was almost odd how things seemed to turn between these two characters. From Jaesey’s disturbed mind, somehow she was able to change from a somewhat sexually drove woman, to someone numbingly quiet, and for some reason Kris seemed to let it happen. It was a nice change. Kris didn’t run away from her bipolar mind, but instead embraced it. Finally there was someone else out there that seemed to have a happier frame of mind rather than fall into a darkness. “Okay, sounds like a good time.” Her voice still sounded quiet and distant, although she tried to make it stand out more. She just needed to bounce back into happiness and stop herself from lingering in dread. Kris was a happy person, why couldn’t she be more like that? She took in a deep, soulful breath and turned around, while she was still in the arms of Kris, wrapping her arms around his body. He would never realize how much he meant to her in just the short few moments that she had met him.
LYRICS: i have to go return some video tapes by breathe carolina COUNT: 706 TAGGED: kris NOTES: woot. Finally I posted back!
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Post by KRISTOPHER ZANE ESTRELLA on Sept 19, 2010 11:34:47 GMT -5
how does it feel when tears freeze? when you cry?
With Kristopher, what you saw was what you got. Everyone saw him as the fun loving, crazy guy. The one who drank all the time, the one who did drugs, the best friend, the worst friend, the hard core enemy; and whatever you wanted to see him as. He gave everything what they wanted; if they wanted him to be their fuck buddy then he was their fuck buddy. If they wanted him to be something different, Kristopher was only happy to oblige. He liked to please people, but don’t think that he’s a pushover, because he definitely was not. Kristopher makes people think that he’s the sweetheart, he doesn’t talk to them about being a druggie or an alcoholic or anything like that, he lets them find about himself on their own. ‘I wonder if Jaesey knows whether I’m an alcoholic and druggie yet..?.’ He couldn’t help but to muse over this, it didn’t seem as if Jaesey was the type of girl to like someone like that. Or a man whore either. Well he wasn’t going to tell her anything, whether she wanted to pry into his life, she could but he wasn’t the one who was going to be giving out the answers to her. She’d have to find out on her own. And if she was surprised by what she found out, without even asking him then well....that was her own fault wasn’t it? ‘I’m such a bad bitch...oh well, who even bloody cares?’ Well, he couldn’t be that bad to Jaesey could he? She was...nice. A good girl, someone who seemed respectful of herself, her body and her virginity...if she was a virgin at all. Whereas Kristopher wasn’t respectful of his body at all, using it for the means of alcohol, sex and drugs; with a bit of rock and roll involved too. Kristopher loved hook-ups, but he knew that Jaesey was regretting it by the way she was acting just after their full frontal kissing, it was amusing to see. Sure he was a bit crude, but it was true; it was very amusing to see and Kristopher didn’t feel bad about it. But Jaesey was a new girl, she needed to get used to his whoring ways, albeit it might be a little difficult for her; well that’s what he thought.
Kristopher’s reputation as whore just came naturally to him, he didn’t know how but he didn’t mind at all. He loved being known as a whore, yes a bit weird but hey, guys had a load of confidence when they were known as players and womanisers. That was what gave Kristopher confidence, being known as someone like that, sure he was a vain bastard, but he knew it. It wasn’t as if he was rude to people though, he was a sweet guy so that was at least a plus. So many negatives and plusses about Kristopher it was all too hard to catch up with. Some people thought that because he was a player he had no heart, but that wasn’t true; so he allowed people to assume what they wanted about him; he didn’t care. Nothing like that bothered Kristopher, nothing. He seemed to always be on a high; whether it was from the drugs or whether he was naturally like that; Kristopher didn’t even know.
Kristopher didn’t want Jaesey to turn back to what they had, he was still feeling sexually charged, but Jaesey had gone back to normal; so that meant he would have to do. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted, not everything could be based on sexual tension. He didn’t mind that she became like that, a lot of girls did that; especially with him, so he would allow Jaesey, even though he really didn’t have a say in this. “Yes! Great, Come on then! Jeronimoooooo...!” Kristopher picked up Jaesey, going back to his normal self, and ran down the stairs with her. After he managed to get down the stairs, Kristopher put Jaesey’s feet back onto the ground. “Oh God, Oh my God! Jaesey go on without me, I don’t think I can make it...” Kristopher fell to the ground, pretending to cry.
TAGGED// JAESEY WORDS// 700 LYRICS// ESCAPE THE FATE – NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOTES// FINALLY.. >> CREDIT// ME
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Post by JAESEY JACQUILINE VALENTINE on Sept 25, 2010 0:45:29 GMT -5
It came as a surprise to Jaesey on one occasion, when she still lived, that one of her closest friends felt a certain way about her. No, this way was not romantic, but rather was a specific thought. Jaesey always had a way of knowing a lot of information about people because she was open to talking to them as friends and liked be neutral, rather than will her mind in one specific and judgmental direction. It was only one day as they both talked about knowledge that they had accumulated about other people. Both of them had similar personalities that way, and finally after they discussed and analyzed each person that they could think of that they knew, Jaesey asked her friend what was going on in her mind. Before she had always been aware that she withdrew knowledge of herself from other people, mostly because she didn’t feel she needed the attention. But when she heard this boy tell her that he could never tell Jaesey what was going on in her mind because she had too much depth and complexity it struck her as a shock that even her closest friends were still locked away from who she really was. Now, she almost wished that she could sit there and have a conversation with that same friend where she could tell him everything that he would need to know… maybe then he would be able to analyze her the same way the two of them were able to discover everyone else they knew.
With that, Jaesey realized it wouldn’t take her long to have a better understanding of the fellow that she was now confronting. With her means of socializing with people, she would eventually learn all that she really needed to learn about him, and maybe leave some information for when it was better needed. She also realized that Kris would probably never get to know her in such depth that not even her closest friends had been able to establish. She couldn’t imagine that unless Kris had anything of a personality that was similar to Jaesey, but even just from the short moments of them knowing each other, she was well aware that they were different people, wish somewhat similar romantic ideas. There was still so much more to discover about each other, and that was exactly what Jaesey wanted to do, even if it didn’t mean discovering a person in a physical way, she would always prefer looking for depth more than anything else.
OF course there were several activities that Jaesey had loved to do when she was alive. One of them was just to have a random, fun, time with her friends. She loved to do stupid things, and then take photos of those stupid things to have that memory forever documented. She expected that she would do silly things with Kris, similar to the stupid events that she had created when she was still alive, but she was completely surprised when he picked her up. Not many people dared to pick her up because she would start freaking out and screaming. And even in the moment that she was taken off the grounds she squealed, partly from excitement, but mostly from a spontaneous fear. As Kris dramatically followed his way down the stairs, Jaesey clenched her body closer to him. She was so scared that he would randomly let go, and her body would harshly hit the floor that had been littered with old rusted nails. Of course as a ghost it wouldn’t matter so much, but it was still a humanly instinct that made Jaesey fear the thought of that pain. Finally when she had been set down, she allowed herself to breathe. She had been so scared that she hadn’t realized it was actually kind of fun! Once again Kris fell into theatrics and Jaesey wasn’t certain of what part she was supposed to play. She smiled slightly, although she was still a little concerned over the situation. Finally she found herself speaking in her most dramatic voice that she could conjure, “No Kris, don’t say it, say it ain’t so, because you can continue! I believe in you, all you have to do is pick up those feet!” She crouched down next to him resting her hand between his shoulder blades and then shivered from the warm comfort that came off of his body. “Come on, do it for me!” .
LYRICS: i have to go return some video tapes by breathe carolina COUNT: 742 TAGGED: kris NOTES: yeah, I know, there are just way too many things consuming my time lately.
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Post by KRISTOPHER ZANE ESTRELLA on Oct 3, 2010 14:53:04 GMT -5
how does it feel when tears freeze? when you cry?
Kristopher was an extremely social person. With just one look at him you would be able to say that he was the type of person to get along with just about everyone, but still of course be annoying to others who didn’t like bubbly personalities. He made friends with just about everyone and even anything (that was when he was drunk.) Even still he’d remember everything he did when he was drunk, especially who he made out with and who he had made friends with. It was hard to bring Kristopher down, he was just all too happy with how he was and what eh was. Some people would say that just because he was bisexual he was a tranny and what not, Kristopher found no harm in being a tranny but he wasn’t. Kristopher was just himself, he hated all the judgement people made in life, it was just stupid to do so. But, since Kristopher was always so happy with whatever he did and whoever he met with, he never took anything personal when people said anything all too terrible about him.
Kristopher missed his best friend, and first boyfriend; Lucas. Lucas was literally everything to him. The guy who helped Kristopher break out of his shell, the guy who made Kristopher into what he was right then. Just think, if there was no Lucas, then there would be no Kristopher (the way he was then) and then there would be no happy people. He had to owe it all to him, Lucas meant everything to Kristopher, and he would always be that one person that would stay in his heart. No one else had affected him the way Lucas had affected him and it was all too weird. After his death, Kristopher hadn’t tried to go see how Lucas had been, after all the both of them were practically in love. Fuck buddies and all that, it was all too good; especially for him. Lucas had come to his funeral, but his father had kicked him out, stating that the press must not know about Kristopher going to a reform boarding school; that was when Kristopher had felt the most angriest. Kristopher felt like strangling his dad, and even tried but he was a new spirit and could not understand how to make himself feel 3D. Kristopher laughed as Jaesey giggled when he ran down the stairs with her. Girls were always scared that they were going to suddenly thrown down the stairs, but Kristopher was strong and he wasn’t the type of guy to let a girl fall for his own amusement. He held her tighter when he felt her hands dig into him a bit, he shook his head lightly, and did she have no trust in him? He laughed a little as Jaesey finally acted the way he was; which was dramatically. He shook his head, she was trying so hard and it was amusing; too amusing. He felt her crouch down and hold his shoulders, and that was when Kristopher began to laugh a little. “Oh I’l do it for you darling. Only you!” He got up slowly, ”My darling! You helped me!”
TAGGED// JAESEY WORDS// 530 LYRICS// ESCAPE THE FATE – NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOTES// .... CREDIT// ME
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